Now, I know that saying I have a new religion sounds either flippant, (like I'm now going to worship the Moon God, Zordoz, and get a tax exemption) or scary (like Oh no! Here comes Tom again spouting religious drivel about being saved). But It's not like that. I've actually had a sincere revelation about my place in the universe, and what else is religion for, if not that?
There are unexplainable things in life - things that science cannot answer. This leaves us feeling afraid, so we have developed various systems (religions) for helping us understand these things. The main unexplainable things are: Where did the universe come from? Why did life originate? What is consciousness? Is there an immortal soul? Is there a God? And if there is, what is our relationship to God? Just about everything else we can deal with, but these things require religion. Religion requires faith and faith is not rational. I've thought of calling my new religion "Rationalism," but the word is already used in philosophy. But it will do for now, as long as we capitalize it.
My new religion requires faith in only one thing: that there is a meta-power that is unknowable, incomprehensible and beyond the scope of human understanding. For simplicity's sake, we'll call it God, and refer to it as a "He," though God has no human attributes such as gender. Gleaning from the evidence of world history, God also does not have the human attributes of love, knowledge, jealousy, anger, want, need, or pride. God just is. We were not made in His image. We evolved from a microorganism. It is easier for most people to understand God if they humanize Him. But God cannot be explained or understood.
If it can be said that God wants anything, then by the evidence, we must say that God wants life to continue. It is programmed inside every living organism to continue. So if we want to do God's "will," then we must act in ways that are in accordance with life continuing. There is no evidence that God wants anything more than this. But we have no obligation to make life continue, and no obligation to complete our own natural lives.
So If we are to continue with our own individual lives and the life of the human species, we must find ways to make it tolerable at least, happy at best. Happiness is attainable. We all have different brains which were formed by different genetic expressions combined with different life experiences. Most people's brains don't work optimally and as a result, most people are not as happy as they could be. Even when our brains are working well, there's much room for improvement. In Rationalism, the mind, spirit, and soul are all the same and are inextricably linked to the body and only exist so long as the body is alive. We strive to make our brains work better and to keep our bodies healthy.
The soul is not immortal and there is no afterlife. There is no fear of eternal punishment and no eternal reward, so our actions are entirely life-based. We are not required by God to love, to take care of one another, or to act morally or justly. But we do want these things as they help life to continue and deepen our mind, enriching our experience and connecting us with others, which connects us with God. All our actions are of our own volition, and God does not guide us. Our aim is to be in harmony with God.
We have found that love is an evolutionary strategy that the human animal has come up with to ensure the health and continuation of the species. Love is a relatively modern construct, though the urge to take care of one another is ancient. We see love as the prime directive, and love includes accepting everyone with whatever beliefs help them to love. We patently reject war for any reason, but understand the innate need for self-defense. We reject capital punishment for any reason. We think that even the sickest minds can be changed. Recent science has shown that the brain has plasticity, and though things get hard-wired into us and we react without "thinking," our brains, and our minds can change. We think jails ought to be places, not merely of penance, as in the word, "penitentiary," and not merely of confinement, but as places of therapy and reconditioning. The goal of jail ought to be to find a place in society for those whose minds can be changed. There may be some whose minds cannot be changed enough, and for them, confinement should continue.
There is no hierarchy in Rationalism. Everyone is holy and everything is sacred. Everything contains the essence of God. Everyone who accepts Rationalism is a priest. The role of a priest is to actively love in every aspect of daily living and to deepen our experience of life and the experience of others by learning about our own minds and sharing with the minds of others. There are no rituals or rites. We see these as superstition, which is not necessary. We encourage the meeting of minds, and any time two or more minds come together to share, God is in that place. We respect the religious traditions of others, in so much as the core of all religions is love. But we see all other religions as containing elements of superstition. Rationalism rejects superstition.
We recognize and revere such personages as the Buddha, Jesus, Muhammad, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, and any others who have been geniuses in the field of love. We see them as being attuned to the meta-power, which they all interpreted in different ways. Islam says that a prophet is sent for his own particular din, and as such, they accepted that Jesus, Moses, Abraham and the other prophets were sent for different people and that Muhammad was sent for the Arabs. We revere teachers of any kind.
There are no sacraments per se, but we consider eating and sex to be sacred, as they have to do with life continuing. Eating and sex merely for pleasure is encouraged, though not always sacramental. Sex is not merely for procreation and can be enjoyed in any form between consenting adults. While our bodies may be ready for sex at puberty, we recognize that our minds aren't always ready, and therefore we adhere to the legal age of consent, even though some minds are not even ready well into their years.
We are Pro Choice, recognizing that not every sperm cell has to become a baby. A woman who is pregnant is a whole being, and can have any part of her being removed for any reason. An abortion is better than an unwanted child. There is only one soul involved - the soul of the woman. While she is pregnant, the baby is a part of her body.
There are no "shalts" and shall nots" in Rationalism. Love is the only practice. We have total free will. If we choose not to love, that is our business. But we recognize love as a good and supreme force for change and for fostering the furtherance of life.
This, for the most part, is my profession of faith. And an outline of how I intend to live. I'm not asking for converts, but if you share these sentiments, I'd love to know. Or, if you just want to start a conversation which will broaden each of our minds, I'm all ears. Life is empty without communication.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Sunday, December 4, 2011
The Black Death of 1348
Cheery topic, I know. But ever since examining that catastrophic year in a graduate history class years ago, I have realized how much the Great Mortality, as many contemporaries called it, changed the western world forever.
First the facts. It's impossible to say how many people died of Bubonic Plague in 1348 and the three successive years it spread over Europe, Asia, and the Middle East, but estimates are that from 75 to 200 million people died. If we take the high number and extrapolate for today's 7 billion population, that would be like 2.8 Billion people dying over the course of four years. That's almost nine times the population of the entire U.S. So the obvious result is that all of a sudden, there were a lot less people around, especially in big cities. The plague is thought to have originated in China and come by way of the Silk Road to India, Arabia, North Africa, and Europe via Mediterranean ships.
But there were so many other consequences besides a cull on the population. First of all, attitudes towards life changed. Before, life was seen as being just the preparation for eternal life in heaven. If we had to suffer a little, so what? As long as we would get our eternal reward, it was worth it. Only the highest born and the clergy could read, so minds were a little bit closed. These were the Dark Ages, after all. But no one needed to read - they were born on a lord's land and grew up working the land. There was no need to ever move, and in fact, in the feudal system, it was illegal. You were pretty much stuck where you were born.
But then, suddenly, there were people dying all around for no apparent reason. They had no real idea of how disease spread, so many chalked it up to God's anger. Many thought it was how the world would end. (Just think, if it had killed everyone in the known world, a new era of history would have begun with the primitives of the Americas and Australia. They might have one day evolved civilizations of their own which might have sent boats across the ocean to discover Europe). So people began to live for today. They were freer in their thought and actions.
With everyone dying, it seemed like God had abandoned them. So why be good? If you were just going to die anyway, what was the point of doing anything for the future? Why bother to work the land? There would be no more harvests, and no more planting. Many people adopted very casual attitudes towards life. They began to work less, and as they died, the land and the animals (the backbone of their economy) suffered too. The lords weren't about to work their own land, nor could they. So survivors, who sometimes felt like they were in God's good graces, started to hire themselves out, demanding much more money and getting it. The lords had no choice. Capitalism had begun.
And with shortages of people came shortages of supplies. So barter became more popular. If I had chickens and you had wheat, we could make some kind of a deal that the lord wouldn't be party to. Free enterprise sprang up. Before, the feudal manor produced everything one needed. After, you had to get things where you could. With barter came marketplaces, which eventually turned into towns and then cities. The lords became less important and less powerful. People started to take their fates into their own hands. People started to become individuals. Of course, there were individuals before, but common people never thought beyond the walls of their manor.
If it weren't for the Black Death, the feudal system might never have ended, or would at least have been seriously delayed. The industrial age might never have needed to happen. The Enlightenment might never have come. No Renaissance. No Age of Reason. Our growth as a civilization would have been seriously stunted. No Magna Carta, no Rights of Man, No American Revolution. A European History without the Black Death would have been a much more peaceful affair. Eventually the peasants would revolt, as in the Peasant Rebellion of 1381 (I think) but they would be driven back, there leaders hanged. And life would continue. When the population got big enough and the peasants outnumbered the aristocrats by a significant enough margin, then the tables might turn. In Russia, it took until 1917.
So the Black Death was a good thing in the long run. Or was it? That depends on if you like the way things turned out. But one thing for sure, things would be very different if it had never happened.
First the facts. It's impossible to say how many people died of Bubonic Plague in 1348 and the three successive years it spread over Europe, Asia, and the Middle East, but estimates are that from 75 to 200 million people died. If we take the high number and extrapolate for today's 7 billion population, that would be like 2.8 Billion people dying over the course of four years. That's almost nine times the population of the entire U.S. So the obvious result is that all of a sudden, there were a lot less people around, especially in big cities. The plague is thought to have originated in China and come by way of the Silk Road to India, Arabia, North Africa, and Europe via Mediterranean ships.
But there were so many other consequences besides a cull on the population. First of all, attitudes towards life changed. Before, life was seen as being just the preparation for eternal life in heaven. If we had to suffer a little, so what? As long as we would get our eternal reward, it was worth it. Only the highest born and the clergy could read, so minds were a little bit closed. These were the Dark Ages, after all. But no one needed to read - they were born on a lord's land and grew up working the land. There was no need to ever move, and in fact, in the feudal system, it was illegal. You were pretty much stuck where you were born.
But then, suddenly, there were people dying all around for no apparent reason. They had no real idea of how disease spread, so many chalked it up to God's anger. Many thought it was how the world would end. (Just think, if it had killed everyone in the known world, a new era of history would have begun with the primitives of the Americas and Australia. They might have one day evolved civilizations of their own which might have sent boats across the ocean to discover Europe). So people began to live for today. They were freer in their thought and actions.
With everyone dying, it seemed like God had abandoned them. So why be good? If you were just going to die anyway, what was the point of doing anything for the future? Why bother to work the land? There would be no more harvests, and no more planting. Many people adopted very casual attitudes towards life. They began to work less, and as they died, the land and the animals (the backbone of their economy) suffered too. The lords weren't about to work their own land, nor could they. So survivors, who sometimes felt like they were in God's good graces, started to hire themselves out, demanding much more money and getting it. The lords had no choice. Capitalism had begun.
And with shortages of people came shortages of supplies. So barter became more popular. If I had chickens and you had wheat, we could make some kind of a deal that the lord wouldn't be party to. Free enterprise sprang up. Before, the feudal manor produced everything one needed. After, you had to get things where you could. With barter came marketplaces, which eventually turned into towns and then cities. The lords became less important and less powerful. People started to take their fates into their own hands. People started to become individuals. Of course, there were individuals before, but common people never thought beyond the walls of their manor.
If it weren't for the Black Death, the feudal system might never have ended, or would at least have been seriously delayed. The industrial age might never have needed to happen. The Enlightenment might never have come. No Renaissance. No Age of Reason. Our growth as a civilization would have been seriously stunted. No Magna Carta, no Rights of Man, No American Revolution. A European History without the Black Death would have been a much more peaceful affair. Eventually the peasants would revolt, as in the Peasant Rebellion of 1381 (I think) but they would be driven back, there leaders hanged. And life would continue. When the population got big enough and the peasants outnumbered the aristocrats by a significant enough margin, then the tables might turn. In Russia, it took until 1917.
So the Black Death was a good thing in the long run. Or was it? That depends on if you like the way things turned out. But one thing for sure, things would be very different if it had never happened.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
How to be Happy
You didn't think I was going to be able to tell you in a few words, did you? I wish I could. The thing is, I'm happy. I mean really happy. Part of it is being rooted in the present. All worry and anxiety has to do with the passage of time. Sometimes I worry, but then I realize it is illusion.
If you knew your life was going to end in 15 minutes you would not be concerned with your student loans, or your evil boss, or that odd-colored mole, or war in Iraq, or what you were going to do this weekend, or your impending divorce, or anything. You would be present for perhaps the first time in your life. At first you may think of all the things that you've left undone, the people you neglected to say, "I love you" to, the places you wanted to see, the opportunities you passed up. But then that would all go away, and you would be present. Just you. Just the collection of experiences that is your mind. Time would stop. And in that moment, you would realize that things are perfect. We are a complex organism, here to pass on DNA, like every other organism. But because our brains have evolved to include a prefrontal cortex (which is present in no other animal), we can look at our own minds, at what makes us happy, and at time.
Happiness is about overcoming the illusion of time. We don't think about time when having an orgasm. We don't think about it when we are euphoric with drugs or alcohol. If you can overcome the illusion of time, it's like being on Ecstasy and having an orgasm. It's a pretty incredible feeling. Meditation can get you there. But how can we go through our lives, which seem to occur in a framework of time, and not be subject to time? We tend to think of all the things that make us unhappy, afraid, anxious, ashamed. Our brains have developed responses to these feelings which make our bodies feel bad. But right now, as you read these words, there is only one moment - the Now. You exist in it eternally. And you might say, "That's all well and good as I read these words, but how am I to be happy while being eaten by a tiger? Or while someone is abusing me? Or while the Republicans are in office? Or when I'm overdrawn at the bank and late with rent? Or all the other negative situations we can come up with or have experienced. While you are experiencing pain, no one says you have to enjoy it. But if you can be fully aware of the moment you are in, then even the ability to experience pain is miraculous. And if your mind doesn't spin off into the fear that is associated with pain, then the pain is of little consequence. I experienced severe back pain from a bulged disc before my bipolar disorder was dealt with and it made me severely depressed. Then, years later, I experienced even worse back pain which debilitated me to the point of not even being able to hold myself upright. But at no time was my happiness compromised. The pain happened to my body and not my mind.
Right now, as I type, I'm experiencing pain in my left wrist. It has been there for about a week. But at no time has it affected my happiness, because there is no fear of future pain or complications. It is just a feeling that tells me something is physically wrong with my body. It has nothing to do with my emotional self. It exists in the physical world, but not in my mind. It does not exist in the Now.
If you know me, you know that I was not always happy. I grew up confused and feeling emotionally neglected. I developed bipolar disorder, which was not overcome until I was about 40. Then I got on meds which allowed my brain to think clearly for the first time. All that I'd read about the mind, about life, about my disease all of a sudden made sense. I feel like I was born at 40. It's not like my medicine made me happy. It's not like my life circumstances changed. It's that my brain was suddenly able to do what brains are supposed to do - make sense of reality. And fully experience the present.
Try right now to experience the present. Let go of everything you know. Let go of everything you plan. You have no personality, no traits, characteristics, or habits. You have no job, no skills or talents, no family or friends. Accept whatever you feel right now physically - the weight of your own body, the millions of things that are stimulating your eyes (or close them), the sounds around you, the smell of the air. This is what you are. Allow your mind to go blank. If a thought occurs, let it pass. People have been meditating on their own breath for thousands of years. Let you breath be all that exists. Just be. Once you learn to do this, you can do it anywhere. Life can be one great meditation.
I want you to be happy. I don't know why. It feels like a sacred duty to share happiness. Sharing happiness feels like love. Sharing love is part of our evolutionary strategy to continue as a species.
You may have only fifteen minutes to live. Why not be happy now?
If you knew your life was going to end in 15 minutes you would not be concerned with your student loans, or your evil boss, or that odd-colored mole, or war in Iraq, or what you were going to do this weekend, or your impending divorce, or anything. You would be present for perhaps the first time in your life. At first you may think of all the things that you've left undone, the people you neglected to say, "I love you" to, the places you wanted to see, the opportunities you passed up. But then that would all go away, and you would be present. Just you. Just the collection of experiences that is your mind. Time would stop. And in that moment, you would realize that things are perfect. We are a complex organism, here to pass on DNA, like every other organism. But because our brains have evolved to include a prefrontal cortex (which is present in no other animal), we can look at our own minds, at what makes us happy, and at time.
Happiness is about overcoming the illusion of time. We don't think about time when having an orgasm. We don't think about it when we are euphoric with drugs or alcohol. If you can overcome the illusion of time, it's like being on Ecstasy and having an orgasm. It's a pretty incredible feeling. Meditation can get you there. But how can we go through our lives, which seem to occur in a framework of time, and not be subject to time? We tend to think of all the things that make us unhappy, afraid, anxious, ashamed. Our brains have developed responses to these feelings which make our bodies feel bad. But right now, as you read these words, there is only one moment - the Now. You exist in it eternally. And you might say, "That's all well and good as I read these words, but how am I to be happy while being eaten by a tiger? Or while someone is abusing me? Or while the Republicans are in office? Or when I'm overdrawn at the bank and late with rent? Or all the other negative situations we can come up with or have experienced. While you are experiencing pain, no one says you have to enjoy it. But if you can be fully aware of the moment you are in, then even the ability to experience pain is miraculous. And if your mind doesn't spin off into the fear that is associated with pain, then the pain is of little consequence. I experienced severe back pain from a bulged disc before my bipolar disorder was dealt with and it made me severely depressed. Then, years later, I experienced even worse back pain which debilitated me to the point of not even being able to hold myself upright. But at no time was my happiness compromised. The pain happened to my body and not my mind.
Right now, as I type, I'm experiencing pain in my left wrist. It has been there for about a week. But at no time has it affected my happiness, because there is no fear of future pain or complications. It is just a feeling that tells me something is physically wrong with my body. It has nothing to do with my emotional self. It exists in the physical world, but not in my mind. It does not exist in the Now.
If you know me, you know that I was not always happy. I grew up confused and feeling emotionally neglected. I developed bipolar disorder, which was not overcome until I was about 40. Then I got on meds which allowed my brain to think clearly for the first time. All that I'd read about the mind, about life, about my disease all of a sudden made sense. I feel like I was born at 40. It's not like my medicine made me happy. It's not like my life circumstances changed. It's that my brain was suddenly able to do what brains are supposed to do - make sense of reality. And fully experience the present.
Try right now to experience the present. Let go of everything you know. Let go of everything you plan. You have no personality, no traits, characteristics, or habits. You have no job, no skills or talents, no family or friends. Accept whatever you feel right now physically - the weight of your own body, the millions of things that are stimulating your eyes (or close them), the sounds around you, the smell of the air. This is what you are. Allow your mind to go blank. If a thought occurs, let it pass. People have been meditating on their own breath for thousands of years. Let you breath be all that exists. Just be. Once you learn to do this, you can do it anywhere. Life can be one great meditation.
I want you to be happy. I don't know why. It feels like a sacred duty to share happiness. Sharing happiness feels like love. Sharing love is part of our evolutionary strategy to continue as a species.
You may have only fifteen minutes to live. Why not be happy now?
Sunday, November 20, 2011
I Was Here
The above portrait is of a lovely young woman named Gavia. She tells me her name is Latin for “loon.” Her father is an artist who specializes in birds. I love the way artists think. She would have been just as lovely being named Jessica or Cindy, but she would not have been the same person. Growing up with a name like Gavia must be interesting. No one would take your name for granted, and you would probably be asked about it constantly. Being able to connect to your father in this way probably makes you think differently about your own identity. You are certain to be one of a kind wherever you go. You are connected to art in a way that a Tom or a Robert never will be. A father who would name his daughter so would be sure to be a loving father. The connection probably started before she was even born. Lucky Gavia.
But, without a name, what does the portrait say about who she is? To be honest, I don’t know who she is, so all I had to go by was her physiognomy and her energy and the brief bit of conversation that we shared. Portraits of old used to include clues as to the wealth, status and temperament of the person portrayed. Portraits were meant to flatter the subject. This portrait lends very little in that regard. But the color I chose for the background reflects the emotion I felt in looking at Gavia, and that makes this portrait feel successful. She was posed against a white wall, and initially the background was a neutral grayish tone. But it did not reflect her energy. As I thought about the incomplete portrait for several weeks without working on it, I thought about the color that would portray her energy against the muted alizarin of the futon on which she sat and which would tie in the blue of her shirt and the ochre pillow.
Colors are like musical chords. A major chord is generally perceived as being of a positive emotion, happiness, joy. A minor chord can denote sadness, anger, frustration, fear or even shame. But then there are so many permutations of chords which subtly change the emotion and make it more complex. A minor seventh chord may imply a more pensive sadness, maybe guilt. A minor ninth could increase the tension of the negativity. A minor seventh with a flat five could imply decreased stability in dealing with the negative emotion. A major seventh lends an ease and comfort, even dreamy elation to a major chord.
A spectrum color can be like a major chord. As we make the color more complex, by adding other pigments, increasing or decreasing its intensity, we alter the emotion that goes with it. I thought about the color of this background for a long time before executing it. I knew that it was a major chord, but I had to think about the complexities. The major chord was yellow, but not a pure, happy yellow. It had to be more thoughtful. So yellow ochre became the base – an earthy yellow that has had some experience in the world and has tired a little from the bright yellow it started out as. And then the yellow was tinged with viridian. This deep green with blue overtones was about the heavy thoughts that come with being a creative person. But those thoughts do not always bubble to the surface – they are an undercurrent, so they don’t have a lot of sway in Gavia’s overall energy. The final mix was titanium white, which lightened the whole thing to happy, intelligent and contented place. This is the energy that Gavia gave off. Some people read auras. I guess painting portraits is similar.
So, in painting the energy of this young woman, I was saying two things. First, at some point in the infinite space and time of the universe, this person existed. That’s what every portrait says. But second, it says that I existed, and that I felt emotions that I could translate into color. If someone were to see this portrait in a thousand years, they may not know who painted it, but they’ll know that at one time, a painter felt as they do, saw as they do, lived as they do. All the painters of the past have left evidence of their inner selves in the complex chords and subtle notes of painting. The nuances of emotion. When I look at a Holbein, I know Henry VIII. When I see a Rembrandt self-portrait, I see inside the man. Picasso is still alive in his paintings. The painters of the caves at Lascaux or Alta Mira have lived on through the ages. In our way, we are all trying to say the same thing – I was here.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
On the Impermanence of Life
Some people wonder why the world needs mosquitoes. Or houseflies. They seem to be nothing but pests. A housefly does not have the cleanest dining habits, so it's little wonder that we don't like them to land on our bodies, or our food, or even our countertops. Who knows where that sucker has been? And mosquitoes just cause annoying welts that itch like crazy. If evolution could only produce a mosquito that could feed off of us without irritating our skin, they would have a better chance of survival. We might even see it as a charity to share a little of ourselves with a harmless fellow creature. But they are obviously not harmless. In addition to the awful itch, there is malaria as well as other diseases. Yet the mosquito has a niche in our food chain. Lizards, frogs, snakes, birds and even fish eat mosquitoes and their larvae. We can't very well wipe mosquitoes off the map without consequences. Same goes for flies. Every living thing is a part of the biosphere. If it turned out not to have a place, or if it couldn't compete with other species, it would go extinct. Flies and mosquitoes and other pests have been around a long time, so I think they have found a secure place in the food chain. But what good do they do us?
A mosquito lives anywhere from a week to a month, houseflies not much longer. Then they die. Not much of a life, really. Some insects live only days in their adult form. Then they're gone forever. What can you possibly accomplish in a few days? You can produce offspring, and that's about it. Humans live about 80 to 85 years these days, with notable exceptions. What can we possibly accomplish in 80 years?
A month equals 2,592,000 seconds. I don't think mosquitoes or flies are terribly smart in human terms. So no one is expecting them to accomplish anything in that time. But if each second is counted, that leaves an awful lot of possibilities. As soon as they are able to, they feed. Only the female mosquitoes need blood in order to lay fertile eggs. Male mosquitoes feed on plant juices. As soon as they are mature, they mate. The female lays her eggs and then there are a few million seconds to spend flying around exploring and feeding some more.
I think the reason flies (the most aptly named thing since the orange) seem to waste so much time flying in little zigzags is because they have short memories. Outdoors they might actually go somewhere, maybe miles away. But they are drawn into a house, or are born there, and can't figure out how to get out. If you present a fly with an open window on a nice sunny day, it's not difficult to guide them with an open towel or similar plane-like object, to go outside. It takes a little patience, but it's actually very easy. It's where they want to be. They are part of nature. They don't belong in houses. They just get stuck there. And once inside, they fly in one direction until they notice that there's a wall there, then they fly in another direction, similarly sensing a wall in front of them and changing course once again. If they could just remember that there are walls in every direction they might give up. I wonder if they enjoy flying? What a gift to give a simple little creature! The power to fly. I know that if I could fly, I certainly would never tire of it. Maybe flies are a lesson in elan. Maybe they fly out of sheer joy! Maybe they have fed and mated and now are spending their lives defying gravity, flying and walking upside down on walls and ceilings. What a life!
If you've ever seen a swarm of mosquitoes, or been in one, which I unfortunately was once in a Florida swamp, you'll know that they are social creatures. Mosquitoes of a feather flock together. What a party they must have! It's practically orgiastic! Eat, mate, and fly around with your friends. If they communicate, they must do it very rapidly because their encounters can be brief. They probably have a hive mind similar to bees. They might be very joyful creatures. And yet we see them as pests and as killers.
80 years equals over 42 million minutes. If it takes you a minute to make a decision, then you can make over 42 million decisions in your life. And some decisions take only seconds. It's easy to see why no two lives are alike. So many variables. It's the ultimate chess game, where every move opens up worlds of new possibilities. And yet, some lives are brief. Some people die within weeks of birth, some live only until their teens or twenties. Some babies don't live as long as flies or mosquitoes. We like to think of life as an endless continuum. We like to think that today is not our last day on Earth. Yet it might be. Just as a fly or mosquito's life may be cut short by a semi truck grill or a frog's long tongue, we can be subject to disease or accident or congenital condition that could kill us at any time. The odds are with us when we are young. Most young humans do not die young. So we like to think that we are like most people, that we will live to a ripe old age. But life is full of semis and frogs and we should not take life for granted. We spend so much of our lives not flying. Not creating, not enjoying life. Not producing anything. 42 million minutes seems like a long time until I realize I've already used over 25 million. And how many of those minutes where fully lived and how may wasted? Have I made 25 million good decisions? Not even close.
But I endeavor to make better and better ones. Sure we need time to shut down, to do nothing, to rest. Those minutes are important too. But life is so short. The bristlecone pine can live over 4000 years. That's over 50 human lifetimes. I'm not even going to calculate how many mosquitoes will come and go in it's lifetime. We think the Earth is about 4.6 billion years old. Our lives in that time frame are not even as significant as the mosquito that is born and then goes "splat!" on a car windshield an hour later.
So the brief life of a mosquito or of a fly is a lesson on the impermanence of life. They are here to teach us to live more fully, more consciously. to not waste our given number of minutes. Yes, they are still pests, but every creature is a part of our reality, a part of us, a part of our experience. I don't expect you to like them any more than you ever did before, but certainly don't hate them for their existence. Let them be your teachers. Every creature has a lesson.
A mosquito lives anywhere from a week to a month, houseflies not much longer. Then they die. Not much of a life, really. Some insects live only days in their adult form. Then they're gone forever. What can you possibly accomplish in a few days? You can produce offspring, and that's about it. Humans live about 80 to 85 years these days, with notable exceptions. What can we possibly accomplish in 80 years?
A month equals 2,592,000 seconds. I don't think mosquitoes or flies are terribly smart in human terms. So no one is expecting them to accomplish anything in that time. But if each second is counted, that leaves an awful lot of possibilities. As soon as they are able to, they feed. Only the female mosquitoes need blood in order to lay fertile eggs. Male mosquitoes feed on plant juices. As soon as they are mature, they mate. The female lays her eggs and then there are a few million seconds to spend flying around exploring and feeding some more.
I think the reason flies (the most aptly named thing since the orange) seem to waste so much time flying in little zigzags is because they have short memories. Outdoors they might actually go somewhere, maybe miles away. But they are drawn into a house, or are born there, and can't figure out how to get out. If you present a fly with an open window on a nice sunny day, it's not difficult to guide them with an open towel or similar plane-like object, to go outside. It takes a little patience, but it's actually very easy. It's where they want to be. They are part of nature. They don't belong in houses. They just get stuck there. And once inside, they fly in one direction until they notice that there's a wall there, then they fly in another direction, similarly sensing a wall in front of them and changing course once again. If they could just remember that there are walls in every direction they might give up. I wonder if they enjoy flying? What a gift to give a simple little creature! The power to fly. I know that if I could fly, I certainly would never tire of it. Maybe flies are a lesson in elan. Maybe they fly out of sheer joy! Maybe they have fed and mated and now are spending their lives defying gravity, flying and walking upside down on walls and ceilings. What a life!
If you've ever seen a swarm of mosquitoes, or been in one, which I unfortunately was once in a Florida swamp, you'll know that they are social creatures. Mosquitoes of a feather flock together. What a party they must have! It's practically orgiastic! Eat, mate, and fly around with your friends. If they communicate, they must do it very rapidly because their encounters can be brief. They probably have a hive mind similar to bees. They might be very joyful creatures. And yet we see them as pests and as killers.
80 years equals over 42 million minutes. If it takes you a minute to make a decision, then you can make over 42 million decisions in your life. And some decisions take only seconds. It's easy to see why no two lives are alike. So many variables. It's the ultimate chess game, where every move opens up worlds of new possibilities. And yet, some lives are brief. Some people die within weeks of birth, some live only until their teens or twenties. Some babies don't live as long as flies or mosquitoes. We like to think of life as an endless continuum. We like to think that today is not our last day on Earth. Yet it might be. Just as a fly or mosquito's life may be cut short by a semi truck grill or a frog's long tongue, we can be subject to disease or accident or congenital condition that could kill us at any time. The odds are with us when we are young. Most young humans do not die young. So we like to think that we are like most people, that we will live to a ripe old age. But life is full of semis and frogs and we should not take life for granted. We spend so much of our lives not flying. Not creating, not enjoying life. Not producing anything. 42 million minutes seems like a long time until I realize I've already used over 25 million. And how many of those minutes where fully lived and how may wasted? Have I made 25 million good decisions? Not even close.
But I endeavor to make better and better ones. Sure we need time to shut down, to do nothing, to rest. Those minutes are important too. But life is so short. The bristlecone pine can live over 4000 years. That's over 50 human lifetimes. I'm not even going to calculate how many mosquitoes will come and go in it's lifetime. We think the Earth is about 4.6 billion years old. Our lives in that time frame are not even as significant as the mosquito that is born and then goes "splat!" on a car windshield an hour later.
So the brief life of a mosquito or of a fly is a lesson on the impermanence of life. They are here to teach us to live more fully, more consciously. to not waste our given number of minutes. Yes, they are still pests, but every creature is a part of our reality, a part of us, a part of our experience. I don't expect you to like them any more than you ever did before, but certainly don't hate them for their existence. Let them be your teachers. Every creature has a lesson.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
I Officially Blew My Own Mind This Week
Gosh, where do I begin? Sometimes I think too much. Every now and again you start thinking about something and it just balloons out of control until very fabric of your reality is challenged. This week has been such a week.
First I started thinking about the orbit of the moon. No problem there - right? The moon spins around in a circle around the Earth about once a month. Well, actually it's kind of an ellipse because of inertia. But then I removed my vantage point from Earth and started to look at the moon's motion relative to the sun. What I found astounded me and led to even bigger discoveries. (I'm not the first to realize these thing - I found plenty of Internet data to support my findings). Picture this: a bicycle wheel at night with a reflector at the tire end of the spoke. The reflector is the moon and the hub of the wheel the Earth. Say the bicycle is travelling over a large arc, like a hill. This is the Earth's orbit around the sun (also elliptical). As the hub moves through space, the reflector is sometimes nearest the ground and sometimes highest above it. It's high position corresponds to a full moon, when the sun is shining on the face toward us. The low position would be a new moon, when its face is in shadow. If you were 100 feet away from the bicycle shining a light at it from the side, you would see the reflector appear to jump in a series of arcs because as the reflector orbited around the hub, it would hit its low point and then come up the back of the wheel as it went forward through space. So the moon, relative to the sun is jumping in similar arcs, not going around in circles but bulging out in a flower petal pattern. The effect is not that dramatic because of the largeness of the Earth's orbit. But it does not move the way we always imagined it did.
Still with me? I haven't got to the good part yet.
So this got me thinking about one of my favorite subjects - Relativity. Everything in the universe is in relative motion to everything else. There is no center from which all motion is measured - at least we haven't found it. Since we are always moving (we are never really still till death) and our planet is rotating and revolving around the sun (which it's not - but I'll get to that) And the sun is moving in a spiral galaxy that itself is moving, then at any given moment, the space we are taking up is different. You can look at an "unmoving" object like a rock and say that it is never at the same place twice because in spacetime it will always have new coordinates every time you measured it, if you had anything to measure spacetime against. So every moment, the universe is created anew.
The philosopher Alfred North Whitehead had an idea that actual entites, as he called them (the smallest bits of the stuff of reality), are alway in a state of becoming. And their becoming is also their demise as they pass on their qualities to the next actual entity. It's as if an atom does not exist through time, but passes on its qualities to a new atom with each move through spacetime.
So now the fun part. Since the sun is not just sitting still at the center of our solar system, but in actuality is also moving through space, then instead of having elliptical orbits and coming back to the same place every year (one revolution around the sun), the planets are actually following the sun in a helical motion, corkscrewing their way through spacetime. We see the sun in the same place every solstice, but it is not the same place at all, and we are many miles from where we started. Once you see the sun as being in motion, you start to get a little dizzy. Picture the solar system on its side, the planets spinning clockwise around the sun. This is the view you would have if you were to see it from Polaris, the north star. Now imagine that the sun is speeding away from you and the planets, while orbiting, are caught up in its gravity and are spiraling in a giant corkscrew through space, the moons in even tinier corkscrews.
So forget everything you thought you knew about planetary motion. It's not that what you were taught was wrong, per se, it's just that it doesn't take Relativity into account. The fabric of reality is dynamic and every moment everything changes. We have the illusion of constancy because our minds are only capable of registering images that are at least 1/24th of a second long. This is why movie frames (before digital) moved at the speed of 24 frames per second. Because that looks like reality to us. It is the illusion of motion. Who knows at what speed we would have to go to see reality as it really is instead of the illusion of motion that we are used to seeing. Obviously we can examine a still frame from a film. Imagine a movie camera that could capture a billion frames a second. Would the still frames show us the pulses of matter moving through spacetime? Would we see the actual entites passing on their data to the next? What is the nature of reality? We think we are the same person from birth to death, but we are never the same in any two moments. Was it Zeno who said, "You can never step in the same river twice?" Life is like that. Constantly new.
First I started thinking about the orbit of the moon. No problem there - right? The moon spins around in a circle around the Earth about once a month. Well, actually it's kind of an ellipse because of inertia. But then I removed my vantage point from Earth and started to look at the moon's motion relative to the sun. What I found astounded me and led to even bigger discoveries. (I'm not the first to realize these thing - I found plenty of Internet data to support my findings). Picture this: a bicycle wheel at night with a reflector at the tire end of the spoke. The reflector is the moon and the hub of the wheel the Earth. Say the bicycle is travelling over a large arc, like a hill. This is the Earth's orbit around the sun (also elliptical). As the hub moves through space, the reflector is sometimes nearest the ground and sometimes highest above it. It's high position corresponds to a full moon, when the sun is shining on the face toward us. The low position would be a new moon, when its face is in shadow. If you were 100 feet away from the bicycle shining a light at it from the side, you would see the reflector appear to jump in a series of arcs because as the reflector orbited around the hub, it would hit its low point and then come up the back of the wheel as it went forward through space. So the moon, relative to the sun is jumping in similar arcs, not going around in circles but bulging out in a flower petal pattern. The effect is not that dramatic because of the largeness of the Earth's orbit. But it does not move the way we always imagined it did.
Still with me? I haven't got to the good part yet.
So this got me thinking about one of my favorite subjects - Relativity. Everything in the universe is in relative motion to everything else. There is no center from which all motion is measured - at least we haven't found it. Since we are always moving (we are never really still till death) and our planet is rotating and revolving around the sun (which it's not - but I'll get to that) And the sun is moving in a spiral galaxy that itself is moving, then at any given moment, the space we are taking up is different. You can look at an "unmoving" object like a rock and say that it is never at the same place twice because in spacetime it will always have new coordinates every time you measured it, if you had anything to measure spacetime against. So every moment, the universe is created anew.
The philosopher Alfred North Whitehead had an idea that actual entites, as he called them (the smallest bits of the stuff of reality), are alway in a state of becoming. And their becoming is also their demise as they pass on their qualities to the next actual entity. It's as if an atom does not exist through time, but passes on its qualities to a new atom with each move through spacetime.
So now the fun part. Since the sun is not just sitting still at the center of our solar system, but in actuality is also moving through space, then instead of having elliptical orbits and coming back to the same place every year (one revolution around the sun), the planets are actually following the sun in a helical motion, corkscrewing their way through spacetime. We see the sun in the same place every solstice, but it is not the same place at all, and we are many miles from where we started. Once you see the sun as being in motion, you start to get a little dizzy. Picture the solar system on its side, the planets spinning clockwise around the sun. This is the view you would have if you were to see it from Polaris, the north star. Now imagine that the sun is speeding away from you and the planets, while orbiting, are caught up in its gravity and are spiraling in a giant corkscrew through space, the moons in even tinier corkscrews.
So forget everything you thought you knew about planetary motion. It's not that what you were taught was wrong, per se, it's just that it doesn't take Relativity into account. The fabric of reality is dynamic and every moment everything changes. We have the illusion of constancy because our minds are only capable of registering images that are at least 1/24th of a second long. This is why movie frames (before digital) moved at the speed of 24 frames per second. Because that looks like reality to us. It is the illusion of motion. Who knows at what speed we would have to go to see reality as it really is instead of the illusion of motion that we are used to seeing. Obviously we can examine a still frame from a film. Imagine a movie camera that could capture a billion frames a second. Would the still frames show us the pulses of matter moving through spacetime? Would we see the actual entites passing on their data to the next? What is the nature of reality? We think we are the same person from birth to death, but we are never the same in any two moments. Was it Zeno who said, "You can never step in the same river twice?" Life is like that. Constantly new.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Art or Craft?
 | ||
| Above is a recently begun work of cut paper. I wanted to show my working method, which is just to cut without any prescibed lines. It looks easy if you're just looking at what's left. But what I'm really doing is cutting away negative space leaving what look like lines behind. Sometimes I have to cut triangles that are no bigger than a millimeter. It takes an intense concentration to see where everything's going. But I have to ask myself, "Is this an art, or is it merely a craft?" Many artists, especially those with big egos, look down on craft as somehow not intellectual enough. My idea of what separates art from craft comprises two things: Art has an emotional element that craft usually doesn't. And Art cannot be replicated whereas craft can be made again and again. So, yes, with great effort this piece could be replicated, but so could the Mona Lisa. And does this piece have an emotional element? That's a bit harder. I'm not thinking emotionally when I make these cuttings. It is purely intellectual. But the idea of beauty is ever-present, so in that sense, I guess it is emotional. Is it more than just a decoration? Again, I'm not sure it has to be. But it is not merely made for the eye - if that were the case I would certainly draw things out first and make sure I had a beautiful composition. But these pieces go straight from my gut to the paper - it's about the beauty I feel in living. It's about the joy of being a thinking, sentient being. It's a celebration of all the years I've spent studying art and art history. It's funny, when I paint, I have the whole of art history to carry on my shoulders. It informs every stroke I make. But when I cut, I am free of that yoke. It is a totally new means of expression for me. Sure, people have cut paper as long as there has been paper. But no one's ever done this quite like I'm doing it. In that it is unique and not reproduceable. So, though I don't know where to place it in the annals of art history, I suppose it is art. |
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Obligations?
Way back before we were human, whatever that is, we developed social groups because we found it easier to protect ourselves - safety in numbers - and to hunt and gather food. It was also easier to find mates if you were kind to them (sharing food and protection). Much like modern day non-human primates, our packs, or tribes, or whatever you want to call them, consisted of a restricted number of individuals, all somehow related. You could call them families. These families needed every member to fulfill a role - raising the young, finding the food, fending off predators, etc. It wasn't a very complicated life. From this sharing of basic values, we started to develop what eventually became love.
In Greek, their are five words I know that speak of different aspects of love. Mania is the first. It is a love of lustful want, a desire to possess. Eros is the kind of love that can be sexual or emotional passion. Philos is brotherly love (Philadelphia - the city of brotherly love. You think it was an accident that the Tom Hanks movie was set there?). It is the love that we have for our fellow humans. Storgy is the kind of love a parent feels for her offspring. It speaks of dependency and affection. Finally there is Agapeo, which is a total, openness to everything the loved one is. It is acceptance without judgment. It is love because we choose to love and has nothing to do with what the lover is getting in return.
As love developed in our early human stages, we first went through Eros and Mania, being sexual, needful creatures, to storgy, feeling for those we were dependent on and who depended on us. Then we developed Philos as we started to see others like ourselves. The one remaining, Agapeo, is one which is still seldom practiced and which we still may be on the verge of developing.
I asked myself why this is: Why can't human beings simply love each other for the sake of love? Why can't we take care of one another simply because it is the right thing to do? And I found a startling answer: because we don't have to. In modern day America, family members do not depend on each other for survival. We still have Storgy love with our young, and Eros is alive and well. Mania has become a disease. But even Philos is getting rarer, not to speak of Agapeo. We see Philos when natural disasters strike. We see it on a small scale when neighbors and friends get together. But Agapeo seems to be the love of the Buddha, or of Jesus, or Gandhi. They loved totally because they wanted to - they felt it was the right thing to do.
Our motivations are so often about what we will get in return. Reward or punishment? It is how a child learns to behave. If we could only teach our children to love without any return. If only we could all practice Agapeo we would all be taken care of where we need it the most - our sense of self-worth. But we don't have to. We think that our material needs are more important, and those needs are met by the sweat of our brow. We no longer have packs to protect us or help us get food or mates. We are all individuals, and we are more or less alone. If we're lucky we have a life-partner, but that's as much as most people get. We might feel Agapeo love for them, but our motivations are still often childlike - we want something in return.
So what is our obligation to love? We really have none. We don't have to help anyone or be kind to anyone. It will not help us to survive as individuals. And we are just not that concerned about the survival of our species, being as there are now seven billion of us. And why should we do something that does not help us survive as individuals or as a species? There is the concept of the Right - the Good. We don't know where it originated, but we have a general idea of what it means. We say that growing up is learning the difference between Right and Wrong. But it can be so much more than that. Doing Right makes us feel good. Agapeo makes us feel good. So all actions can be said to be self-motivated. We do what we feel is Right. Even martyrs do what they do because it makes them feel part of the Right. Some do Right for a supposed eternal reward. I say we should all strive to do right because we all need to feel better about ourselves.
I don't see a lot of happy people in the world. They were not taught Agapeo and so they cannot know how good it feels. And you can't practice something that you were never taught. Work on Philos, and you may feel spikes of Agapeo. Practice all the many kinds of love. They all feel good. Do it because it is right, as abstract as that is. Now that we're successful as animals, let's work on being successful as sentient beings. Let's stress the oneness of all life. All of life is perceived by your mind and your experience of life is happening inside you. Don't leave it up to others to love. No one has to. Do it because you want to. Agapeo. It's acceptance of all that is.
In Greek, their are five words I know that speak of different aspects of love. Mania is the first. It is a love of lustful want, a desire to possess. Eros is the kind of love that can be sexual or emotional passion. Philos is brotherly love (Philadelphia - the city of brotherly love. You think it was an accident that the Tom Hanks movie was set there?). It is the love that we have for our fellow humans. Storgy is the kind of love a parent feels for her offspring. It speaks of dependency and affection. Finally there is Agapeo, which is a total, openness to everything the loved one is. It is acceptance without judgment. It is love because we choose to love and has nothing to do with what the lover is getting in return.
As love developed in our early human stages, we first went through Eros and Mania, being sexual, needful creatures, to storgy, feeling for those we were dependent on and who depended on us. Then we developed Philos as we started to see others like ourselves. The one remaining, Agapeo, is one which is still seldom practiced and which we still may be on the verge of developing.
I asked myself why this is: Why can't human beings simply love each other for the sake of love? Why can't we take care of one another simply because it is the right thing to do? And I found a startling answer: because we don't have to. In modern day America, family members do not depend on each other for survival. We still have Storgy love with our young, and Eros is alive and well. Mania has become a disease. But even Philos is getting rarer, not to speak of Agapeo. We see Philos when natural disasters strike. We see it on a small scale when neighbors and friends get together. But Agapeo seems to be the love of the Buddha, or of Jesus, or Gandhi. They loved totally because they wanted to - they felt it was the right thing to do.
Our motivations are so often about what we will get in return. Reward or punishment? It is how a child learns to behave. If we could only teach our children to love without any return. If only we could all practice Agapeo we would all be taken care of where we need it the most - our sense of self-worth. But we don't have to. We think that our material needs are more important, and those needs are met by the sweat of our brow. We no longer have packs to protect us or help us get food or mates. We are all individuals, and we are more or less alone. If we're lucky we have a life-partner, but that's as much as most people get. We might feel Agapeo love for them, but our motivations are still often childlike - we want something in return.
So what is our obligation to love? We really have none. We don't have to help anyone or be kind to anyone. It will not help us to survive as individuals. And we are just not that concerned about the survival of our species, being as there are now seven billion of us. And why should we do something that does not help us survive as individuals or as a species? There is the concept of the Right - the Good. We don't know where it originated, but we have a general idea of what it means. We say that growing up is learning the difference between Right and Wrong. But it can be so much more than that. Doing Right makes us feel good. Agapeo makes us feel good. So all actions can be said to be self-motivated. We do what we feel is Right. Even martyrs do what they do because it makes them feel part of the Right. Some do Right for a supposed eternal reward. I say we should all strive to do right because we all need to feel better about ourselves.
I don't see a lot of happy people in the world. They were not taught Agapeo and so they cannot know how good it feels. And you can't practice something that you were never taught. Work on Philos, and you may feel spikes of Agapeo. Practice all the many kinds of love. They all feel good. Do it because it is right, as abstract as that is. Now that we're successful as animals, let's work on being successful as sentient beings. Let's stress the oneness of all life. All of life is perceived by your mind and your experience of life is happening inside you. Don't leave it up to others to love. No one has to. Do it because you want to. Agapeo. It's acceptance of all that is.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Anticipation
It is said that we get just as much, if not more, pleasure anticipating something as we do when we get it. So much of our life is spent waiting. We are time-driven animals, always looking for the next good thing to come along. Do you think a spider really waits for a fly to come along into its web? I think, rather, that it just exists in a state of non-waiting, perfectly content just to exist. Then, when the fly comes, he deals with it. You might think by its excited behavior when you come home that your pet has been waiting for you all day. But if you secretly videotaped him will you were out, you would probably see a very peaceful animal, content just to be.
But we humans are in a constant state of waiting. Right now in my life, I'm waiting for about a dozen things to happen. I am under the delusion that when these things happen, I will be somehow happier. In truth, I will gain some happiness, but will already be looking for the next big thing to come along. Then I will be happier still.
I have submitted two pieces of art to a juried competition, and am waiting to see if I will get in. If I do, I will then wait to see if I've won any prize, and wait to see if my work sells. If it sells, I will wait to see if one particular piece, an intricately cut piece of paper, will help me get into a gallery that has expressed interest in these pieces. This will put me in the state of waiting to see if my work gains any attention, and if so, if I can parlay that into a broader part of my art career, enabling me to make more income and possibly leave my current job, which is not very fulfilling, and take part-time work somewhere. Then I will wait for my career to blossom so that I can get more recognition and apply for a teaching position somewhere. So much waiting.
In music, I am waiting for my good friend and musical partner, Bob Elliott, to finish one particular song which will be on our next album, "Dreamtown." Most of the recording had been finished a while ago, but Bob had some remodeling to do on their house, plus he had to go back to his teaching job, plus plan his mom's 75th birthday party and some other pressures. So I had to wait. He rewrote a complete lyric (for the better) and now I'm waiting for him to send me the data so I can record my harmony vocals. Then I'll send it back to him and he'll do the mixing and mastering, which I'll wait for some more. Then when he sends the completed CD, I'll take it in to get it duplicated and have the artwork printed and the jewel cases put together. More waiting. Then we have to distribute it. We have no real plan for this, but we want to get it out to as many people as possible, because it's the best music we've ever done, and we've done a lot of music. Then we'll have to wait for people's responses.
I've also been sending in a lot of music to publishers, and people who license music for TV, film, and advertising. Still waiting for responses. Some of them say to wait four to six months before they'll get back to you. By then, I will have forgotten what I'm waiting for. I've also recently signed with Renegade Music Marketing, who will plug my songs for the same industry. They guarantee 50 solicited plugs - that is, people have to request music from them - a year. Something's bound to come from all this waiting.
I've also been waiting for an editor to read and make notes on one of my stories. Finally that waiting is over. She got back to me, loved the story, and made a lot of very poignant notes on how to make things better. Now I'm waiting for a workshop that I'm taking with author Nancy Kress in November. I'm waiting to see if she likes what I wrote and provides any connections or ideas that would help me publish.
I'm waiting for so many things to happen so that I can build a different kind of scaffold on which to hang my life's work. I'm waiting to be out of my unfulfilling job and spending more of my energy creating art - visual art, music, and writing. While I wait, I'm doing what I can. I'm painting, I'm writing, I'm composing and recording. I guess like the farmers of old, you wait for your crops to grow - you can't do otherwise. You pull the weeds and water. You do the work you have to. Hopefully come harvest time, you can celebrate the bounty.
I have so much more to say - but you'll just have to wait.
But we humans are in a constant state of waiting. Right now in my life, I'm waiting for about a dozen things to happen. I am under the delusion that when these things happen, I will be somehow happier. In truth, I will gain some happiness, but will already be looking for the next big thing to come along. Then I will be happier still.
I have submitted two pieces of art to a juried competition, and am waiting to see if I will get in. If I do, I will then wait to see if I've won any prize, and wait to see if my work sells. If it sells, I will wait to see if one particular piece, an intricately cut piece of paper, will help me get into a gallery that has expressed interest in these pieces. This will put me in the state of waiting to see if my work gains any attention, and if so, if I can parlay that into a broader part of my art career, enabling me to make more income and possibly leave my current job, which is not very fulfilling, and take part-time work somewhere. Then I will wait for my career to blossom so that I can get more recognition and apply for a teaching position somewhere. So much waiting.
In music, I am waiting for my good friend and musical partner, Bob Elliott, to finish one particular song which will be on our next album, "Dreamtown." Most of the recording had been finished a while ago, but Bob had some remodeling to do on their house, plus he had to go back to his teaching job, plus plan his mom's 75th birthday party and some other pressures. So I had to wait. He rewrote a complete lyric (for the better) and now I'm waiting for him to send me the data so I can record my harmony vocals. Then I'll send it back to him and he'll do the mixing and mastering, which I'll wait for some more. Then when he sends the completed CD, I'll take it in to get it duplicated and have the artwork printed and the jewel cases put together. More waiting. Then we have to distribute it. We have no real plan for this, but we want to get it out to as many people as possible, because it's the best music we've ever done, and we've done a lot of music. Then we'll have to wait for people's responses.
I've also been sending in a lot of music to publishers, and people who license music for TV, film, and advertising. Still waiting for responses. Some of them say to wait four to six months before they'll get back to you. By then, I will have forgotten what I'm waiting for. I've also recently signed with Renegade Music Marketing, who will plug my songs for the same industry. They guarantee 50 solicited plugs - that is, people have to request music from them - a year. Something's bound to come from all this waiting.
I've also been waiting for an editor to read and make notes on one of my stories. Finally that waiting is over. She got back to me, loved the story, and made a lot of very poignant notes on how to make things better. Now I'm waiting for a workshop that I'm taking with author Nancy Kress in November. I'm waiting to see if she likes what I wrote and provides any connections or ideas that would help me publish.
I'm waiting for so many things to happen so that I can build a different kind of scaffold on which to hang my life's work. I'm waiting to be out of my unfulfilling job and spending more of my energy creating art - visual art, music, and writing. While I wait, I'm doing what I can. I'm painting, I'm writing, I'm composing and recording. I guess like the farmers of old, you wait for your crops to grow - you can't do otherwise. You pull the weeds and water. You do the work you have to. Hopefully come harvest time, you can celebrate the bounty.
I have so much more to say - but you'll just have to wait.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Turning a Corner
As I painted this months later, I naively and hopefully thought that Jan's sister would buy it when it was finished. I mentioned it to her and she gave it some thought. But there was something about this tranquil scene that I just couldn't capture - my memory was of sunlight on olive green water interrupted by the tall, straight poles of trees. Those were all the elements I was working with. It seemed that it should've been easy. But night after night I changed this and that and still the painting just was not working. Then Lisa, the sister, emailed me to say she was just not interested. That very night I felt freed up to make, not HER painting, but mine. I had been trying to see through someone else's eyes, and alas, I could not. I was trying to please her instead of pleasing myself. As soon as I realized what I had been doing, I painted out all the sacred cows that I had been unable to touch. I added trees where there were no trees, I changed the kinds of trees and covered up most of the sky I had fought so hard to preserve. I put in a great blue heron, an osprey, and even a snowy egret that is just a spec on the opposite shore. I painted new light on the water, going right over the trees, which I then wiped clean with a rag.
In short, I took my painting back. Not selling it was the best thing that could've happened. It helped me turn the corner.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
What's wrong with communism?
I know that title sounds flippant, but notice that I spelled communism with a small "c." The big "C" Communism has plenty wrong with it, and so much has been written about it that I would just be echoing voices of the past to say anything against it. As a political ideology, it proposes violent revolution - the workers must forcefully take power and wealth from the Bourgoisie, because they'll never give it up voluntarily. I'm a devout pacifist, and would never back the violent overthrow of anything. I'd rather try the non-violent overthrow - it worked for Gandhi.
The main gist of Communism is something like: From each according to his ability; to each according to his need. Of that much, Jesus and the Buddha and many others, including myself, would approve. That's almost like saying, "Love your neighbor as yourself." What we have we should give to those who are in need. We are born with certain talents and develop many others. We gain knowledge and wisdom and wealth as we pass through life. There are many people in need of your knowledge, your skills your wealth, and your talents. So it sounds easy enough to just help people in need with the resources at hand. Why, then, don't we do it?
Well, I'll tell you. It has to do with Evolution. It is thought that a male mockingbird's skill at mimicry might be a way to show a female that he has been more than around the block a few times. He has ranged far afield, facing who-knows-what dangers and perils - and he has survived and thrived. The more bird songs he collects (and car horns and other sounds) the more he can demonstrate to a potential mate what a strong. swift and clever bird he is. Good genes means offspring who are more likely to thrive as well. And all life has but one aim - to continue. It continues by adapting to its environment. The better suited a species is to its environment, the more likely it will continue. If it is not well suited, it either evolves new adaptations, moves to a new environment, or dies out.
We sometimes forget that we are animals, evolving along with the rest of the world. We are one of the most highly adaptable organisms on the planet. We change our environment to suit us. When we came out of the trees and went bipedal our feet might have thickened over the years to support us on hard ground. Instead we made shoes. The climate changed. It got colder. Instead of getting furrier, we made clothes and tamed fire. We adapt pretty quickly compared to other large organisms.
So as animals, we want to pass on DNA. It's our prime objective. Not every individual will do so, but we all act like we want to. We all want to be liked, admired and respected. We all want to look good to a potential mate, even if we're not thinking in terms of progeny. We accumulate things like a mockingbird acquires songs. We are all about display. We want status. Even the most humble among us values humility and does so because he thinks it will look good to a potential mate. There are obviously exceptions. Many priests and nuns take vows of poverty - what would they need a display of worldly goods for if they weren't looking for a mate?
Wealthy people (who were not born that way) usually value wealth and all its trappings. (I've always loved that phrase - "the trappings of wealth"). They often work hard to gain the status that they have because they think they will be of more value as a potential mate. So to ask them to give up the things they value is asking them to go against their Evolutionary instincts. The "have-nots" want more things in order to be better potential mates. Communism says we should all have the same things - all be of equal value. This is not how Evolution has made us. The Thompson's gazelle with the bad leg is going to be lion meat. That's how things are with animals.
We humans take care of our old, and infirm, and mentally unstable. That goes against the way most animals behave. But then most things humans do are against how most animals behave. But most animals are blissfully ignorant. They don't have the fears and worries and emotional baggage that we carry around with us. They are usually in a zen-like trance of eating, sleeping, and having sex. Sounds pretty good to me. Maybe we're not the smartest animal after all.
So communism is a wonderful ideal. But it'll never work. We have many kinds of greed - not all about material possessions. We are greedy for attributes that will make us better fathers and mothers, or at least make us look like the kind of people who would be good fathers and mothers. You may not have children. You may not ever want children, or be too old to have children. But we are wired to have children, so we act like we want that.
Cheers to those who overcome their greed in any measure! It can be done. We can share what we have with those in need. Even if it's a small donation to a food bank or a Goodwill store or any charity. Even if you share with your neighbor - we are all in need.
So, no, I am not, nor have I ever been a member of the Communist Party. But I definitely am a communist.
The main gist of Communism is something like: From each according to his ability; to each according to his need. Of that much, Jesus and the Buddha and many others, including myself, would approve. That's almost like saying, "Love your neighbor as yourself." What we have we should give to those who are in need. We are born with certain talents and develop many others. We gain knowledge and wisdom and wealth as we pass through life. There are many people in need of your knowledge, your skills your wealth, and your talents. So it sounds easy enough to just help people in need with the resources at hand. Why, then, don't we do it?
Well, I'll tell you. It has to do with Evolution. It is thought that a male mockingbird's skill at mimicry might be a way to show a female that he has been more than around the block a few times. He has ranged far afield, facing who-knows-what dangers and perils - and he has survived and thrived. The more bird songs he collects (and car horns and other sounds) the more he can demonstrate to a potential mate what a strong. swift and clever bird he is. Good genes means offspring who are more likely to thrive as well. And all life has but one aim - to continue. It continues by adapting to its environment. The better suited a species is to its environment, the more likely it will continue. If it is not well suited, it either evolves new adaptations, moves to a new environment, or dies out.
We sometimes forget that we are animals, evolving along with the rest of the world. We are one of the most highly adaptable organisms on the planet. We change our environment to suit us. When we came out of the trees and went bipedal our feet might have thickened over the years to support us on hard ground. Instead we made shoes. The climate changed. It got colder. Instead of getting furrier, we made clothes and tamed fire. We adapt pretty quickly compared to other large organisms.
So as animals, we want to pass on DNA. It's our prime objective. Not every individual will do so, but we all act like we want to. We all want to be liked, admired and respected. We all want to look good to a potential mate, even if we're not thinking in terms of progeny. We accumulate things like a mockingbird acquires songs. We are all about display. We want status. Even the most humble among us values humility and does so because he thinks it will look good to a potential mate. There are obviously exceptions. Many priests and nuns take vows of poverty - what would they need a display of worldly goods for if they weren't looking for a mate?
Wealthy people (who were not born that way) usually value wealth and all its trappings. (I've always loved that phrase - "the trappings of wealth"). They often work hard to gain the status that they have because they think they will be of more value as a potential mate. So to ask them to give up the things they value is asking them to go against their Evolutionary instincts. The "have-nots" want more things in order to be better potential mates. Communism says we should all have the same things - all be of equal value. This is not how Evolution has made us. The Thompson's gazelle with the bad leg is going to be lion meat. That's how things are with animals.
We humans take care of our old, and infirm, and mentally unstable. That goes against the way most animals behave. But then most things humans do are against how most animals behave. But most animals are blissfully ignorant. They don't have the fears and worries and emotional baggage that we carry around with us. They are usually in a zen-like trance of eating, sleeping, and having sex. Sounds pretty good to me. Maybe we're not the smartest animal after all.
So communism is a wonderful ideal. But it'll never work. We have many kinds of greed - not all about material possessions. We are greedy for attributes that will make us better fathers and mothers, or at least make us look like the kind of people who would be good fathers and mothers. You may not have children. You may not ever want children, or be too old to have children. But we are wired to have children, so we act like we want that.
Cheers to those who overcome their greed in any measure! It can be done. We can share what we have with those in need. Even if it's a small donation to a food bank or a Goodwill store or any charity. Even if you share with your neighbor - we are all in need.
So, no, I am not, nor have I ever been a member of the Communist Party. But I definitely am a communist.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
I JUST WANT A REVOLUTION, DAMMIT!
Maybe you think I'm not serious, spelling "dammit" like they might in the comics. But I am totally serious, and not yet sure what to do about it. I'm not talking about a political revolution. Politics is just money and power and illusion. I'm talking about a spiritual revolution - a love revolution. Through our evolutionary journey from microbes to humans, we have adopted certain strategies for the survival of our species. One of the more recent strategies we have come up with is love, which is still in a state of evolving into something better.
Every species wants to pass on its DNA, its life force. No species voluntarily becomes extinct. We humans have figured out that if we take care of each other, it is more likely that we, as individuals, will also survive and thrive to continue the species. So we take care of our sick and injured, our old and frail, our mentally challenged. In other species, these individuals would probably be eaten by predators. It is a fairly recent and radical theory that has us loving our neighbors as ourselves. It has taken us millions of years to understand that we should treat others the way we want to be treated. It is a kind of pact that we all subconsciously understand. And yet, it is not practiced by all.
There are so many who are born unwanted and raised without knowing what real love is. They grow up and, because of our innate desire to procreate, have more unwanted children who also don't get examples of how to love. Love should be a course taught in all the schools. It should be the most important subject of all. But we don't teach it. Sure there are churches and religions which are said to be all about love, but they tend to be more about ritual and superstition.
A thought occurred to me the other day, that it is ironic to call a Catholic priest, "father," when that is the last thing he will ever be. Wouldn't the church do better if these men who devote their lives to God and love could have families of their own - big families who would be brought up as loving children in a loving household and who would go into the world as ambassadors of love? Many of their children would probably be priests too. And women should definitely be allowed to be priests (no need to call them priestesses). A mother's love is thought, in our culture, to be supreme. Why would the church not want mothers to lead the congregation by example? Jesus did not die to take away original sin, because original sin is a myth. We are all born morally perfect - it is the weight of the world which forms our personality along with our genetic predispositions. If we had men and women priests who dedicated themselves to what Jesus was really talking about - love - then they would spread throughout the world.
When Jesus was asked, "What is the greatest commandment?" He didn't pick one right off the list of ten that the Jews had always followed. And he didn't pick any of the laws of Moses that God supposedly dictated to him. Instead, he said, "You should love God with your whole heart and your whole soul and your whole mind and your whole strength," (or something like that) and then he said, " The second is like unto this - that you love your neighbor as yourself."
Love. It's all about love. If you call yourself a Christian (which incidentally I don't, even though I agree with Jesus' teachings about love) then your whole life should be about love. And how do you love God? Well, I think that there is no separate being called God that humans will ever have access to. I think that God is consciousness. The whole world is God. Everything that happens in it is God. So to love God is to love everything.
This is challenging to us because it means total acceptance of everything that is - not just the good things, but all the "bad" as well. If you love the world, you love the whole world - famine, murder, war, rape - I'm not endorsing those things - far from it, but they are all part of God. That's why we invented the devil. Because we think that God would not start wars and kill children. But we think that God thinks like us - reasons like us - has emotions like us. I don't believe in the Old Testament God. The God that asked Abraham to kill his child sounds a lot like schizophrenia to me. The burning bush that Moses saw sounds like a hallucenation. And Moses had a speech impediment and had to have his brother, Aaron, talk to the Israelites. Why the hell didn't God just talk to Aaron? What was he thinking? So, if you try to make sense of God in human terms, you just can't. All of our Judeo-Christian writings about God contradict each other over and over.
But if God is the sum total of everything, then loving our neighbor as ourselves is loving God. Jesus was a genius who realized that our species would be sure to thrive if we loved each other. He understood the strategy that evolution had devised, though he didn't know anything about evolution.
Why is it so hard to talk about love? This is the revolution that I'm getting at. The presidents and monarchies should all be giving speeches about love. It's not religion. Why did we confuse love with religion? Love is how we survive, how we continue, how we thrive. The criminals of the world, the so-called evil-doers, the miscreants, the scalliwags, the hooligans, the misanthropes, they are not teaching love and were never taught love. If from our children's first moments we were to teach them that the world works because we love, and if every lesson reinforced loving behavior, then the world would grow more and more harmoniuos.
What would a world be like without love? We would all be afraid of each other because we would just be trying to get things for our own survival and comfort. This is all too close to the way the world really is. If I didn't love, I wouldn't think twice about murdering someone to get what he has. I would be afraid of being murdered myself and would isolate myself from society. I would live like an un-social animal.
But all social animals, and there are many, cooperate with their own species for the greater good. Humans have taken this trait the farthest so far. But we are all in competition with each other because we are still evolving into loving beings. We are not finished with Evolution. We are not at the pinnacle, just at a step along a graet way. Suppose the human race were to last another 150 million years. We are just at the beginning. But we have become conscious of the abstract notion of love. It is up to us now to teach it everywhere. We can own big comapanies and still practive love. There are more and more companies who are developing a social conscience. There are companies who are giving back to humanity - there are not enough of them, but it is heartening to know that there are some. Why can't a company's business plan include love?
"Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's, but render unto God what is God's." Jesus again. And what is God's? Love! Love your neighbor. Love God. Teach your children. Teach your neighbor. Teach by example. Don't be so damned timid about it! "Not hating's not the same as loving" one of my songs says. It's fine not to hate. But we are all so neutral. Neutral gets us nowhere. We need to be love activists.
This is where I make my own confession. I am neutral much of the time. When an action presents itself, I try to respond in a loving manner. But I need to do more than that. I need to be a love acivist. I want to teach love. I do my art and my music and my writing so that people will turn their heads my way. But once that is accomplished, I want to speak about love. It's all that matters to me. And I know I am not alone. I need you to do this with me. I don't know how to accomplish this on my own. I am just a voice crying out in the wilderness, like John, but instead of heralding the coming of Jesus, I am heralding the coming of a new era of enlightenment. It may come many generations after me, but we all have the opportunity to be a part of the gradual change right now.
One thing I know is that you don't love people by throwing money at them. We often think that giving to the poor is a loving act. But loving your neighbor is so much more important. Victor Frankl was able to feel love even in a concentration camp. The Buddha felt it among the suffering of his people. It can be felt anywhere at any time. It exists as an abstract notion, but is evidenced in our actions. Every action should be about love. I hope you can feel love as you read this. It is not my love. It is the love that humanity has developed, and is still developing. If it helps you to think that it is the love of God, then that's a good thing. The important thing is that we do something about it.
I just want a revolution, dammit!
Every species wants to pass on its DNA, its life force. No species voluntarily becomes extinct. We humans have figured out that if we take care of each other, it is more likely that we, as individuals, will also survive and thrive to continue the species. So we take care of our sick and injured, our old and frail, our mentally challenged. In other species, these individuals would probably be eaten by predators. It is a fairly recent and radical theory that has us loving our neighbors as ourselves. It has taken us millions of years to understand that we should treat others the way we want to be treated. It is a kind of pact that we all subconsciously understand. And yet, it is not practiced by all.
There are so many who are born unwanted and raised without knowing what real love is. They grow up and, because of our innate desire to procreate, have more unwanted children who also don't get examples of how to love. Love should be a course taught in all the schools. It should be the most important subject of all. But we don't teach it. Sure there are churches and religions which are said to be all about love, but they tend to be more about ritual and superstition.
A thought occurred to me the other day, that it is ironic to call a Catholic priest, "father," when that is the last thing he will ever be. Wouldn't the church do better if these men who devote their lives to God and love could have families of their own - big families who would be brought up as loving children in a loving household and who would go into the world as ambassadors of love? Many of their children would probably be priests too. And women should definitely be allowed to be priests (no need to call them priestesses). A mother's love is thought, in our culture, to be supreme. Why would the church not want mothers to lead the congregation by example? Jesus did not die to take away original sin, because original sin is a myth. We are all born morally perfect - it is the weight of the world which forms our personality along with our genetic predispositions. If we had men and women priests who dedicated themselves to what Jesus was really talking about - love - then they would spread throughout the world.
When Jesus was asked, "What is the greatest commandment?" He didn't pick one right off the list of ten that the Jews had always followed. And he didn't pick any of the laws of Moses that God supposedly dictated to him. Instead, he said, "You should love God with your whole heart and your whole soul and your whole mind and your whole strength," (or something like that) and then he said, " The second is like unto this - that you love your neighbor as yourself."
Love. It's all about love. If you call yourself a Christian (which incidentally I don't, even though I agree with Jesus' teachings about love) then your whole life should be about love. And how do you love God? Well, I think that there is no separate being called God that humans will ever have access to. I think that God is consciousness. The whole world is God. Everything that happens in it is God. So to love God is to love everything.
This is challenging to us because it means total acceptance of everything that is - not just the good things, but all the "bad" as well. If you love the world, you love the whole world - famine, murder, war, rape - I'm not endorsing those things - far from it, but they are all part of God. That's why we invented the devil. Because we think that God would not start wars and kill children. But we think that God thinks like us - reasons like us - has emotions like us. I don't believe in the Old Testament God. The God that asked Abraham to kill his child sounds a lot like schizophrenia to me. The burning bush that Moses saw sounds like a hallucenation. And Moses had a speech impediment and had to have his brother, Aaron, talk to the Israelites. Why the hell didn't God just talk to Aaron? What was he thinking? So, if you try to make sense of God in human terms, you just can't. All of our Judeo-Christian writings about God contradict each other over and over.
But if God is the sum total of everything, then loving our neighbor as ourselves is loving God. Jesus was a genius who realized that our species would be sure to thrive if we loved each other. He understood the strategy that evolution had devised, though he didn't know anything about evolution.
Why is it so hard to talk about love? This is the revolution that I'm getting at. The presidents and monarchies should all be giving speeches about love. It's not religion. Why did we confuse love with religion? Love is how we survive, how we continue, how we thrive. The criminals of the world, the so-called evil-doers, the miscreants, the scalliwags, the hooligans, the misanthropes, they are not teaching love and were never taught love. If from our children's first moments we were to teach them that the world works because we love, and if every lesson reinforced loving behavior, then the world would grow more and more harmoniuos.
What would a world be like without love? We would all be afraid of each other because we would just be trying to get things for our own survival and comfort. This is all too close to the way the world really is. If I didn't love, I wouldn't think twice about murdering someone to get what he has. I would be afraid of being murdered myself and would isolate myself from society. I would live like an un-social animal.
But all social animals, and there are many, cooperate with their own species for the greater good. Humans have taken this trait the farthest so far. But we are all in competition with each other because we are still evolving into loving beings. We are not finished with Evolution. We are not at the pinnacle, just at a step along a graet way. Suppose the human race were to last another 150 million years. We are just at the beginning. But we have become conscious of the abstract notion of love. It is up to us now to teach it everywhere. We can own big comapanies and still practive love. There are more and more companies who are developing a social conscience. There are companies who are giving back to humanity - there are not enough of them, but it is heartening to know that there are some. Why can't a company's business plan include love?
"Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's, but render unto God what is God's." Jesus again. And what is God's? Love! Love your neighbor. Love God. Teach your children. Teach your neighbor. Teach by example. Don't be so damned timid about it! "Not hating's not the same as loving" one of my songs says. It's fine not to hate. But we are all so neutral. Neutral gets us nowhere. We need to be love activists.
This is where I make my own confession. I am neutral much of the time. When an action presents itself, I try to respond in a loving manner. But I need to do more than that. I need to be a love acivist. I want to teach love. I do my art and my music and my writing so that people will turn their heads my way. But once that is accomplished, I want to speak about love. It's all that matters to me. And I know I am not alone. I need you to do this with me. I don't know how to accomplish this on my own. I am just a voice crying out in the wilderness, like John, but instead of heralding the coming of Jesus, I am heralding the coming of a new era of enlightenment. It may come many generations after me, but we all have the opportunity to be a part of the gradual change right now.
One thing I know is that you don't love people by throwing money at them. We often think that giving to the poor is a loving act. But loving your neighbor is so much more important. Victor Frankl was able to feel love even in a concentration camp. The Buddha felt it among the suffering of his people. It can be felt anywhere at any time. It exists as an abstract notion, but is evidenced in our actions. Every action should be about love. I hope you can feel love as you read this. It is not my love. It is the love that humanity has developed, and is still developing. If it helps you to think that it is the love of God, then that's a good thing. The important thing is that we do something about it.
I just want a revolution, dammit!
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Our True Purpose
We don't know why or where or how life on Earth began. We sort of understand the ingredients but no one can say why the first molecule replicated itself or how amino acids used protein to build cell walls or why cells grew so big that nutrients couldn't reach the nucleus and they divided into smaller cells which did likewise.
But somehow, the storm of life began and since the beginning, it has had one goal: to keep passing on DNA. It has found various ways of doing this, but life wants to continue, and growth and change help ensure that it will.
The body is like a huge corporation and, indeed, the word comes from "corpus" which means body. The corporation comprises billions of workers, all of whom have specialized skills. Some work in accounts receivable, some in advertising, some in sales, some in research and development, and they all answer to a board of directors which makes decisions which will hopefully lead to growth. No corporation wants to be stagnant or, worse yet, take losses. It wants to grow so that all the workers benefit and the company can continue to make its product.
The body is made up of billions of cells, organized into organs, tissue and bones - the departments of the company. The board of directors is the brain and the CEO is, perhaps, God. It is the brain who gets most of the benefits of a healthy body. Cells can die and be replaced and the brain doesn't care as long as the departments are meeting their quota. The male body makes only one product. Sperm. Sperm is the whole reason that the male animal exists. It is why every cell grows and divides, because every cell contains DNA which is the magic formula for Coca-Cola or Colonel Sander's 11 secret herbs and spices - the secret for successful perpetuation of the company.
You may think you are here for some nobler purpose, that your company makes music or art, that your company cures diseases or teaches children. You may think that your success lies in money, homes, cars, jewelry. But the real success of the male body lies in ejaculation. Every little process that occurs in the growing male body happens for one aim - to put sperm into an egg. Men are sperm factories. That is our sole reason for existence.
Perhaps if a male body grew up without ever having ejaculated (which will never happen) then the body would never die. But we'll never know. Once the body has ejaculated, it wants to keep on ejaculating because as far as the cells know, every ejaculation is a successful attempt at passing DNA.
When it has ejaculated enough, it starts thinking about retirement - the workers get lazy and careless because no one wants their product anymore. Workers die and are not replaced. Entire departments are closed down and soon, the corporation can't survive and goes belly up.
But its product is taken up by a young, upstart company with a brilliant future ahead of it. It, too, like its parent company, will be in the business of passing on DNA. If it is a male, it will be a sperm producing factory like its father. If it is a female, it will dedicate many of its workers to build a new factory in about nine months and then have a grand opening.
So where does this leave us childless people? We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams. - Willy Wonka.
But somehow, the storm of life began and since the beginning, it has had one goal: to keep passing on DNA. It has found various ways of doing this, but life wants to continue, and growth and change help ensure that it will.
The body is like a huge corporation and, indeed, the word comes from "corpus" which means body. The corporation comprises billions of workers, all of whom have specialized skills. Some work in accounts receivable, some in advertising, some in sales, some in research and development, and they all answer to a board of directors which makes decisions which will hopefully lead to growth. No corporation wants to be stagnant or, worse yet, take losses. It wants to grow so that all the workers benefit and the company can continue to make its product.
The body is made up of billions of cells, organized into organs, tissue and bones - the departments of the company. The board of directors is the brain and the CEO is, perhaps, God. It is the brain who gets most of the benefits of a healthy body. Cells can die and be replaced and the brain doesn't care as long as the departments are meeting their quota. The male body makes only one product. Sperm. Sperm is the whole reason that the male animal exists. It is why every cell grows and divides, because every cell contains DNA which is the magic formula for Coca-Cola or Colonel Sander's 11 secret herbs and spices - the secret for successful perpetuation of the company.
You may think you are here for some nobler purpose, that your company makes music or art, that your company cures diseases or teaches children. You may think that your success lies in money, homes, cars, jewelry. But the real success of the male body lies in ejaculation. Every little process that occurs in the growing male body happens for one aim - to put sperm into an egg. Men are sperm factories. That is our sole reason for existence.
Perhaps if a male body grew up without ever having ejaculated (which will never happen) then the body would never die. But we'll never know. Once the body has ejaculated, it wants to keep on ejaculating because as far as the cells know, every ejaculation is a successful attempt at passing DNA.
When it has ejaculated enough, it starts thinking about retirement - the workers get lazy and careless because no one wants their product anymore. Workers die and are not replaced. Entire departments are closed down and soon, the corporation can't survive and goes belly up.
But its product is taken up by a young, upstart company with a brilliant future ahead of it. It, too, like its parent company, will be in the business of passing on DNA. If it is a male, it will be a sperm producing factory like its father. If it is a female, it will dedicate many of its workers to build a new factory in about nine months and then have a grand opening.
So where does this leave us childless people? We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams. - Willy Wonka.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Serendipity
Fast-forward a few years and a client sees this piece on my website, http://www.paintingtheearth.com/ and is interested in acquiring it. So I bring it down to Daniel Smith, where I used to work and where I still know someone in the framing department, and I'm waiting for the two ladies ahead of me to finish with their framing order. Cindy, the framer, suggests I bring my pieces out (I had two to frame) of my portfolio and start looking at moldings. So out comes "Maze" and all of a sudden the attention is shifted away from what everyone was doing and over to my side of the work table.
"That is gorgeous!" says one of the ladies. "Do you sell your work?" It turns out she is the curator for the Eastside Association of Fine Arts (EAFA) and they have a gallery at the Design Center where architects and interior designers and other people who buy art and have budgets shop. She all but guarantees that she would show my work. I gave her my card and she invites me to the next EAFA meeting, which happens to be on my day off. After many years of thinking my work was not right for a gallery, mostly because I do so many different things, and galleries want one-trick ponies who can stay on task and produce the same kind of work over and over, someone finally clicks with me. She wasn't really interested in my paintings - I guess anyone can make paintings.
In fact, when I am painting, I feel a kind of responsibility to the history of art. As much as I think my work is original, it is still bound by all the rules and conventions I have grown up with in the art world. But when I am cutting paper, I feel totally original. It's not as if it's never been done - the Japanese even have a name for it - Kitigama - and Kara Walker has recently become quite the art star with her cut-out silhouoettes of African American social history. But no one ever taught me anything about cutting paper. It's entirely from within me somewhere. Seeing the negative spaces and cutting them away reminds me of Michelangelo saying that to make a statue, you just carve away everything that doesn't look like the figure. I don't think Michelangelo really said that, actually I even once heard it in the form of an elephant joke - How do you make a statue of an elephant? - Get a block of marble and carve away everything that doesn't look like an elephant.
You can see other works of this kind on my website at the "Other Work" page. I'm working on a new one right now. I spent six straight hours on it yesterday. I think I probably have an hour or two left to go. I'll post it on the website when it's done. If these sell at the EAFA Design Center Gallery, I may be painting less for a while. I love painting, but I don't know if I'm a master yet (regardless of my Master's degree). With the paper cutting, I feel like I am.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
This Is Not My Sky
Though you would not know it to look at me these days, I used to suffer from bipolar disorder. And I do mean suffer. It landed me in the hospital a few times with suicidal depression mixed with manic tendencies to do everything in a big way. The mania often spurred the creative process and I accomplished some great art in spite of often feeling out of control.
But those days are well behind me now, thanks to meds and some great doctors and therapists. Being human, however, I'm still subject to the occasional incidental depression now and then. I'm not sure what brought on the depression that led to he following lyrics, but I did snap out of it eventually. While that grey cloud hung over me, I realized that it was just not like me anymore to feel this way. So I wrote this song, which you can listen to at http://iacmusic.com/artist.aspx?id=128691
Someone Else's Sky
This must be someone else's sky
Cuz mine is blue
This must be someone else's love
Cuz mine is true
And as I look up to the rain
Can't help but wonder why
I'm under someone else's
Someone else's sky
This must be someone else's tale
Cuz mine ends good
In mine the hero doesn't fail
Although he could
But when the princess never shows
And the heroes don't prevail
This must be someone else's
Someone else's tale
These are not my tears
Falling from these red eyes
I know how it appears
But heroes never cry
This is not my brain
Cuz mine works well
This is mot my fate
To go through hell
It is way too late
To psychoanalyze
But this is not my
This is not my sky
But those days are well behind me now, thanks to meds and some great doctors and therapists. Being human, however, I'm still subject to the occasional incidental depression now and then. I'm not sure what brought on the depression that led to he following lyrics, but I did snap out of it eventually. While that grey cloud hung over me, I realized that it was just not like me anymore to feel this way. So I wrote this song, which you can listen to at http://iacmusic.com/artist.aspx?id=128691
Someone Else's Sky
This must be someone else's sky
Cuz mine is blue
This must be someone else's love
Cuz mine is true
And as I look up to the rain
Can't help but wonder why
I'm under someone else's
Someone else's sky
This must be someone else's tale
Cuz mine ends good
In mine the hero doesn't fail
Although he could
But when the princess never shows
And the heroes don't prevail
This must be someone else's
Someone else's tale
These are not my tears
Falling from these red eyes
I know how it appears
But heroes never cry
This is not my brain
Cuz mine works well
This is mot my fate
To go through hell
It is way too late
To psychoanalyze
But this is not my
This is not my sky
Sunday, September 4, 2011
 | ||
| There is a difference between a good painting and a good likeness. I think this is a fine painting - it conveys a mood, is an interesting, if simple, composition, makes me want to know who this person is. The model was Megan Taylor, a co-worker and friend. I caught something of her, but there are so many subtleties to what makes a person look the way they do. If the eyes are just millimeters closer together or farther apart, you get a completely different person. That's why, with seven billion of us, we get 7 billion different faces. It's amazing, the variation among just a few facial features. I like that she chose the black tank top to represent her. It shows off her strong, confident figure. And, apparently, her bracelet was her grandmother's, though I didn't know it at the time of the sitting. I might have featured it more prominently. Even though I like this portrait, I've decided that the personality may be better served with more interesting poses from now on. I always tend to do the frontal or 3/4 view. Just saw some great paintings at the Frye museum of Gabriel von Max, who did many faces from surprising viewpoints. |
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Just a Little Shot After All
Those who know me best might describe me as a doer rather than a spectator. I'd rather paint a painting than visit a museum; I'd rather write a book rather than read one; I'd rather sing or play a song than hear one on the radio. Or, better still, I'd rather write a song from scratch, which I've done hundreds of times. You get the idea.
But I am obviously not a famous anything. As one of my songs says, "Looks like I don't have too far to fall / I guess I'm / Just a little shot after all." But I have never been one to think that these things can't change. But I don't ever want to be a big shot - that to me implies throwing one's weight around, getting what you want because of your name and fame, thinking that you're more entitled than others to the good things that life has to offer.
I've said it many times - I just want to pay my rent and bills and eat. If I could do those things by being a creative person, I'd be perfectly content being the littlest shot of all. But it's a fine line. No one pays you just for being you. You have to acquire a modicum of fame if you want to sell paintings, or songs, or books, on any substantial level. I don't want to be a brand. I don't want to sell a product. But in a capitalist society, this is how it works. There are no patronages from the doges anymore.
I recently began working with Victoria Dzenis, (www.serenecoaching.com) a creative entrepreneur coach, and our discussion has already posed many questions (which will hopefully find answers) about who I am as a creative person and what to do with that. I've adopted the use of the word "creative" as a noun. I am "a creative". So on the surface, I'm trying to figure out what to do with that - How does the creative fit into capitalist society? How do I get paid for being a creative?
But the larger picture is this - How does being a creative help me to be a loving person? That is the real measure of a life. I believe that love is simply an evolutionary strategy that the human animal has come up with to further the species. And it is such a beautiful strategy. No other animal has come up with it, though dogs seem to be learning from us.
So here's where the train goes off the rails a little - How do I make a living from being a loving person? No one is going to pay me for that either. I think this blog will talk about my creative process and give samples of paintings and lyrics, but it's really going to be about love. It's the only thing that matters. And it is certainly not a spectator's sport.
But I am obviously not a famous anything. As one of my songs says, "Looks like I don't have too far to fall / I guess I'm / Just a little shot after all." But I have never been one to think that these things can't change. But I don't ever want to be a big shot - that to me implies throwing one's weight around, getting what you want because of your name and fame, thinking that you're more entitled than others to the good things that life has to offer.
I've said it many times - I just want to pay my rent and bills and eat. If I could do those things by being a creative person, I'd be perfectly content being the littlest shot of all. But it's a fine line. No one pays you just for being you. You have to acquire a modicum of fame if you want to sell paintings, or songs, or books, on any substantial level. I don't want to be a brand. I don't want to sell a product. But in a capitalist society, this is how it works. There are no patronages from the doges anymore.
I recently began working with Victoria Dzenis, (www.serenecoaching.com) a creative entrepreneur coach, and our discussion has already posed many questions (which will hopefully find answers) about who I am as a creative person and what to do with that. I've adopted the use of the word "creative" as a noun. I am "a creative". So on the surface, I'm trying to figure out what to do with that - How does the creative fit into capitalist society? How do I get paid for being a creative?
But the larger picture is this - How does being a creative help me to be a loving person? That is the real measure of a life. I believe that love is simply an evolutionary strategy that the human animal has come up with to further the species. And it is such a beautiful strategy. No other animal has come up with it, though dogs seem to be learning from us.
So here's where the train goes off the rails a little - How do I make a living from being a loving person? No one is going to pay me for that either. I think this blog will talk about my creative process and give samples of paintings and lyrics, but it's really going to be about love. It's the only thing that matters. And it is certainly not a spectator's sport.
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