I've always been a dreamer. Does that mean I'm not a doer? Not necessarily. Sometimes my dreams are grand, the kind that will change everything. Sometimes my dreams are modest, the kind that will change me. I suppose I've fulfilled many of my dreams. I'm an artist, a writer, a composer, a musician. But it's always the things I am not yet that drive me.
I've never been motivated by money, but lately I've found myself dreaming of having some. So several schemes are popping into my head to that end. I don't see my paintings as ever achieving star status - they'll probably just sell sparsely throughout my life, and that's a nice thing.
Just that there are some of my paintings out in the world makes me feel as if I am more engaged with other people's lives. There are those that are living with my paintings every day. They might never give them a thought, but they color the atmosphere a certain way. I'm in bedrooms where people make love. I'm in living rooms where people meet friends. I'm in offices where business deals are made.
But that is not about money. Lately, I've had the idea of helping other artists sell their paintings online. I know so many young artists who make small work, show it at coffee house galleries and occasionally sell a small work for a few dollars. This is the modest kind of purchase that anyone can make. It's not about the elite coming into a gallery with a checkbook and buying a painting by reputation. It's about the connection between makers of art and lovers of art. It's a small, humble kind of thing - not intellectual. It's outside of the ART WORLD, which has all gone kind of crazy. I want the outsiders who still do quality work to get their work into people's homes. There is no current system for this. I want to create one. An online gallery (I've registered he domain name galleryschmallery.com) that would sell work for no more than a few hundred dollars and even offer work for $25 and $50. I want to reach the kind of people who would never set foot in a gallery and when they want art for their home or for a gift, they end up buying cheap reproductions or posters. I want them to know that they can afford original artwork made by people who care about their art, and are not trying to be superstars.
I probably won't make much money at this, at least not at first. Who knows if this will catch on. But it will be a service that I am glad to offer my fellow up and coming artists. It feels important to me. It's a dream. But it's one I'm going to realize.
Some artists dream of being in galleries, having people actively selling their work which increases with value as it sells and their reputation grows. But what a gallery wants is a product they can rely on, someone who has a "mature" style, which is their way of saying someone who does pretty much the same thing over and over. That might sell paintings, but it doesn't help an artist's soul grow. Art is about introspection. It's about finding out who you are in the world and how you relate to life and then making that realization manifest. That is what a mature artist does. It's a skill that some people can practice with just a few strokes, while others do it with obsessive realism. But the mature artist is fully present in his work. It is imbued with his spirit. Making a picture can be easy and can be learned. But making it art takes a degree of self-actualization. The more an artist understands himself, the more powerful his art.
Most of my own output would not be on galleryschmallery.com. I would be very discerning about what I sold. Beauty doesn't seem to matter in the art world anymore, and there are many, many very ugly works that have great success. We shouldn't have to live with ugliness. Beauty is different for everyone, but there are universal truths that can't be denied. When someone is passionate about beauty, it shows in their art. Young artists are taught to avoid beauty, the idea being that if it pleases the eye, it cannot convey the greater idea. The idea is king in the art world today. One day, people will go to a gallery just to hear artists talk about the work they would make if they had any skill. There are artists who almost do this now. Artists who I won't name because I don't want to dignify their work by talking about it, but who just come up with ideas and then have other people make the work. This drives me bananas. Make the damn work yourself or don't call yourself an artist.
I'm getting off track. The kind of artist I want to feature is intimately involved with the making of the work. They are in the work. And they want to get back the energy they put into their work in the form of money. Sure, they have put a lifetime's energy into each piece, but it's better to get paid a little at a time than to wait for that big payday that comes with being an art superstar. I want to be a successful online winebar, coffeehouse, or bar, those places which show art, but are not in the business of selling art. Not a lot of art sells at these places, and you only get to see a small show each month. My site would enable you to visit hundreds of these places at the click of a mouse and to find just that little piece of art that moves you just so.
Maybe someday this would be a successful business and I could actually make a living from the small commission I would take (10% as opposed to a gallery's 50%). Then I could pursue other dreams of teaching college art, being a successful recording artist and songwriter, having a successful career as a published novelist. I find that if I put my dreams into words instead of just letting them play in my head, they tend more often to become realities. There's always room for more dreams.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Thoughts on Dying
Bill is dead. It was a sudden onset of brain cancer which was only detected a week ago. I barely knew him - he was the husband of a woman I worked with, and he would stop by the office occasionally to say hi, or bring her something. He had a long life and a mercifully short illness.
I don't feel sadness at his death - I've thought a lot about death in the last few years. My dad is going to be 87 in March and my mom will be 82. I don't know how I'll react when the time actually comes, but I know it could happen at any time. I like to think I'm at peace with the idea. Accepting death is key to living peacefully. Even accepting my own mortality, and knowing that I could also die at any moment, for any number of reasons. I am ready. We tend not to think about death in our culture and so when it happens, we are usually not ready. If we are told we have a terminal illness, the rug is often pulled out from under us and it is then that we fully know that we are alive. And then, for some people, it is often too late to do all the things we wanted to do.
I don't want to do anything but have a deep connection with life, which I feel I have. I want to live as a loving person, which I feel I do. Every day is happier and more profound than the last for me. If I were told I was going to die soon, I would not be altered internally.
Dying is a state in which I will never be as long as I am conscious. I feel you are either 100% alive or 100% dead. I choose to remain 100% alive until I'm 100% dead. There is no dying.
I had a great aunt, whose name escapes me, who I was told was dying once when I was young. She turned out to hang around for quite a while. My joke got to be, "Is Great Aunt so-and-so still dying?" I would ask my mother this occasionally, and she would respond, a little miffed, "Yes, she is." I don't intend to die like that. I intend only to live. If I am irretrievably unconscious, then you can say I'm dying, because that's not really living. But other than that, I will never "die."
Death is also on my mind because of two stories - one of which I'm reading and one of which I'm writing. The one I'm reading is called "Life Work" by poet Don Hall, and is not so much a story, but a meditation on life as a writer, one who finds out he has cancer right in the middle of writing this very book. He thinks there is a good possibility that he will die, which adds a literary suspense, but having read the forward, I know that he did not die, but has lived for ten years after the publication of this book. It turns out that after publishing the book it is his young wife who gets cancer and dies at 47.
Any of us can go at any time. Our lives are the equivalent of a raindrop which falls quickly only to join the great water cycle again. I'm not saying I believe in reincarnation - I don't - but it's a nice belief. That we are part of something greater. That God is the storm.
The book I'm working on currently is called "The Cure," and deals with a group of terminal cancer patients who are cured by an experimental process just as humanity is wiped out by a plague that affects a supplemental element called lunarium, which people have been taking for centuries after its discovery on the moon because it promotes emotional well-being. They are spared because they are lunarium-free. They go from thinking they are going to die eminently to wondering about how to go about the rest of their lives, as others, who thought they would live forever, die all around them.
I think that we all need to meditate on our own mortality. Once you truly accept it, your life will begin.
I don't feel sadness at his death - I've thought a lot about death in the last few years. My dad is going to be 87 in March and my mom will be 82. I don't know how I'll react when the time actually comes, but I know it could happen at any time. I like to think I'm at peace with the idea. Accepting death is key to living peacefully. Even accepting my own mortality, and knowing that I could also die at any moment, for any number of reasons. I am ready. We tend not to think about death in our culture and so when it happens, we are usually not ready. If we are told we have a terminal illness, the rug is often pulled out from under us and it is then that we fully know that we are alive. And then, for some people, it is often too late to do all the things we wanted to do.
I don't want to do anything but have a deep connection with life, which I feel I have. I want to live as a loving person, which I feel I do. Every day is happier and more profound than the last for me. If I were told I was going to die soon, I would not be altered internally.
Dying is a state in which I will never be as long as I am conscious. I feel you are either 100% alive or 100% dead. I choose to remain 100% alive until I'm 100% dead. There is no dying.
I had a great aunt, whose name escapes me, who I was told was dying once when I was young. She turned out to hang around for quite a while. My joke got to be, "Is Great Aunt so-and-so still dying?" I would ask my mother this occasionally, and she would respond, a little miffed, "Yes, she is." I don't intend to die like that. I intend only to live. If I am irretrievably unconscious, then you can say I'm dying, because that's not really living. But other than that, I will never "die."
Death is also on my mind because of two stories - one of which I'm reading and one of which I'm writing. The one I'm reading is called "Life Work" by poet Don Hall, and is not so much a story, but a meditation on life as a writer, one who finds out he has cancer right in the middle of writing this very book. He thinks there is a good possibility that he will die, which adds a literary suspense, but having read the forward, I know that he did not die, but has lived for ten years after the publication of this book. It turns out that after publishing the book it is his young wife who gets cancer and dies at 47.
Any of us can go at any time. Our lives are the equivalent of a raindrop which falls quickly only to join the great water cycle again. I'm not saying I believe in reincarnation - I don't - but it's a nice belief. That we are part of something greater. That God is the storm.
The book I'm working on currently is called "The Cure," and deals with a group of terminal cancer patients who are cured by an experimental process just as humanity is wiped out by a plague that affects a supplemental element called lunarium, which people have been taking for centuries after its discovery on the moon because it promotes emotional well-being. They are spared because they are lunarium-free. They go from thinking they are going to die eminently to wondering about how to go about the rest of their lives, as others, who thought they would live forever, die all around them.
I think that we all need to meditate on our own mortality. Once you truly accept it, your life will begin.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Some Thoughts on Money
Money is a funny subject to me. It's rarely on my mind, and I rarely have any to speak of. But lately, it has been on my mind because I've been trying to raise it for a musical project of mine which is the pinnacle of my life's creative output. If I had money, any at all, I would just pay for the reproduction of this CD and that would be that. And many of my moneyed friends may be wondering why I don't just do that. But I live paycheck to paycheck - no savings, no investments. I live quite happily, mind you. Money, it is true, does not buy happiness - but the rest of that axiom should say it doesn't preclude it either. In fact, money and happiness are independent of one another. There are happy rich and happy poor. There are unhappy rich and poor as well. I feel the most pity for the unhappy rich. The unhappy poor may still have hope.
Someone once told me to think of money as energy - you produce a product or do a service in which you expend energy - you get energy back in the form of money. The energy expended by a CEO probably does not equal the money she or he gets back. And the energy expended by a teacher certainly does far exceed the money he or she gets back. The universe is not interested in fairness. Apparently, neither is society. I make about $27,000 a year. I know there is some kind of taboo about saying this publicly, but I've never been afraid of the truth, and that's the truth. I have no idea how much my friends or family make, but one friend to whom I disclosed my salary acted embarrassed for me. Somehow, I get by - somehow we all do. I feel like there are those who make $80,000 a year who probably still think there just getting by.
I know that if I were making that kind of money, I would be a much more philanthropic person. That seems like a fortune to me. I couldn't spend all that money, and I don't believe in saving for a rainy day. I believe in helping others. Of course, if I had kids I would think differently. Everything might go towards their care, education and well-being. But as it is, I don't have to think about where my money goes. I don't have much say in the matter. I owe $70,000 in student loans, but thanks to income-based repayment I pay a low monthly payment and should have it paid off when I'm about 140 years old. Then there's the usual rent, utilities, groceries, gas, and the like. That eats up the rest. So every paycheck I start out at about zero.
I do occasionally sell a painting, but for the 35 years of energy I put into them, I should be asking an awful lot more for them. Sometimes I sell a piece which I'm not that attached to, though, and the energy exchange feels more equal. But it sometimes seems absurd that big name artists can ask hundreds of thousands of dollars for a wall decoration. Ultimately, that's what a painting is. But it's also a storehouse of the artist's energy and if the buyer can appreciate that energy, then that is indeed worth a lot of money. When I sell a piece and I feel the buyer appreciates my life's energy invested in it, it's almost beyond price. It's as if they're adopting a part of me. I get to live at their house and be with them through all their life's events. How can you put a value on that?
I've been paid for music many times where I've had such a good time that I feel I should be the one paying. And then there are those times where I've played to a bar full of chatty, inebriated people who couldn't care less that I'm pouring my heart into each and every song. My full energy and the energy of all my experience is then wasted and I feel like you could not pay me enough. I want an even exchange. I want to sing my life to people and I want them to take it in as if I were giving a dissertation or a testimonial. I don't need money if people really get what I'm doing.Some of my favorite performances have been sitting around campfires. But if I'm entertaining them on a more superficial level, then yeah, give me some energy back in the form of money.
I'm playing a gig next Saturday for no money. But it's going to be all my own music. Every note and word will be me talking personally to the audience, which will be peppered with friends and co-workers. I'm looking forward to it more than any gig I've ever played for just that reason. Sometimes playing for money you can feel like a prostitute. Same with selling paintings. But this will be music for the love of music. I'm hoping to do more gigs like this in the coming year. I'm ready to profess my music, not just mimic other people's songs. It goes beyond the sound, and into an area that is very personal. I know there will be people there who will not pay attention - it is a cafe, after all, and there will be people who barely notice what I'm doing. But if there's one person who gets it - one person who meets me in the field of my mind, then they will be rewarded with a lifetime's worth of energy, because that is what I put into my songs. I'll have CD's for sale for the price of a tip, but that won't be the real payment.
My energy is not stored in my money. I give money very little power. My energy is stored in my creativity and I intend to be generous with the energy I have. If only people would recognize that energy I would give it so freely. I am a rich man.
Someone once told me to think of money as energy - you produce a product or do a service in which you expend energy - you get energy back in the form of money. The energy expended by a CEO probably does not equal the money she or he gets back. And the energy expended by a teacher certainly does far exceed the money he or she gets back. The universe is not interested in fairness. Apparently, neither is society. I make about $27,000 a year. I know there is some kind of taboo about saying this publicly, but I've never been afraid of the truth, and that's the truth. I have no idea how much my friends or family make, but one friend to whom I disclosed my salary acted embarrassed for me. Somehow, I get by - somehow we all do. I feel like there are those who make $80,000 a year who probably still think there just getting by.
I know that if I were making that kind of money, I would be a much more philanthropic person. That seems like a fortune to me. I couldn't spend all that money, and I don't believe in saving for a rainy day. I believe in helping others. Of course, if I had kids I would think differently. Everything might go towards their care, education and well-being. But as it is, I don't have to think about where my money goes. I don't have much say in the matter. I owe $70,000 in student loans, but thanks to income-based repayment I pay a low monthly payment and should have it paid off when I'm about 140 years old. Then there's the usual rent, utilities, groceries, gas, and the like. That eats up the rest. So every paycheck I start out at about zero.
I do occasionally sell a painting, but for the 35 years of energy I put into them, I should be asking an awful lot more for them. Sometimes I sell a piece which I'm not that attached to, though, and the energy exchange feels more equal. But it sometimes seems absurd that big name artists can ask hundreds of thousands of dollars for a wall decoration. Ultimately, that's what a painting is. But it's also a storehouse of the artist's energy and if the buyer can appreciate that energy, then that is indeed worth a lot of money. When I sell a piece and I feel the buyer appreciates my life's energy invested in it, it's almost beyond price. It's as if they're adopting a part of me. I get to live at their house and be with them through all their life's events. How can you put a value on that?
I've been paid for music many times where I've had such a good time that I feel I should be the one paying. And then there are those times where I've played to a bar full of chatty, inebriated people who couldn't care less that I'm pouring my heart into each and every song. My full energy and the energy of all my experience is then wasted and I feel like you could not pay me enough. I want an even exchange. I want to sing my life to people and I want them to take it in as if I were giving a dissertation or a testimonial. I don't need money if people really get what I'm doing.Some of my favorite performances have been sitting around campfires. But if I'm entertaining them on a more superficial level, then yeah, give me some energy back in the form of money.
I'm playing a gig next Saturday for no money. But it's going to be all my own music. Every note and word will be me talking personally to the audience, which will be peppered with friends and co-workers. I'm looking forward to it more than any gig I've ever played for just that reason. Sometimes playing for money you can feel like a prostitute. Same with selling paintings. But this will be music for the love of music. I'm hoping to do more gigs like this in the coming year. I'm ready to profess my music, not just mimic other people's songs. It goes beyond the sound, and into an area that is very personal. I know there will be people there who will not pay attention - it is a cafe, after all, and there will be people who barely notice what I'm doing. But if there's one person who gets it - one person who meets me in the field of my mind, then they will be rewarded with a lifetime's worth of energy, because that is what I put into my songs. I'll have CD's for sale for the price of a tip, but that won't be the real payment.
My energy is not stored in my money. I give money very little power. My energy is stored in my creativity and I intend to be generous with the energy I have. If only people would recognize that energy I would give it so freely. I am a rich man.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
My New Religion
Now, I know that saying I have a new religion sounds either flippant, (like I'm now going to worship the Moon God, Zordoz, and get a tax exemption) or scary (like Oh no! Here comes Tom again spouting religious drivel about being saved). But It's not like that. I've actually had a sincere revelation about my place in the universe, and what else is religion for, if not that?
There are unexplainable things in life - things that science cannot answer. This leaves us feeling afraid, so we have developed various systems (religions) for helping us understand these things. The main unexplainable things are: Where did the universe come from? Why did life originate? What is consciousness? Is there an immortal soul? Is there a God? And if there is, what is our relationship to God? Just about everything else we can deal with, but these things require religion. Religion requires faith and faith is not rational. I've thought of calling my new religion "Rationalism," but the word is already used in philosophy. But it will do for now, as long as we capitalize it.
My new religion requires faith in only one thing: that there is a meta-power that is unknowable, incomprehensible and beyond the scope of human understanding. For simplicity's sake, we'll call it God, and refer to it as a "He," though God has no human attributes such as gender. Gleaning from the evidence of world history, God also does not have the human attributes of love, knowledge, jealousy, anger, want, need, or pride. God just is. We were not made in His image. We evolved from a microorganism. It is easier for most people to understand God if they humanize Him. But God cannot be explained or understood.
If it can be said that God wants anything, then by the evidence, we must say that God wants life to continue. It is programmed inside every living organism to continue. So if we want to do God's "will," then we must act in ways that are in accordance with life continuing. There is no evidence that God wants anything more than this. But we have no obligation to make life continue, and no obligation to complete our own natural lives.
So If we are to continue with our own individual lives and the life of the human species, we must find ways to make it tolerable at least, happy at best. Happiness is attainable. We all have different brains which were formed by different genetic expressions combined with different life experiences. Most people's brains don't work optimally and as a result, most people are not as happy as they could be. Even when our brains are working well, there's much room for improvement. In Rationalism, the mind, spirit, and soul are all the same and are inextricably linked to the body and only exist so long as the body is alive. We strive to make our brains work better and to keep our bodies healthy.
The soul is not immortal and there is no afterlife. There is no fear of eternal punishment and no eternal reward, so our actions are entirely life-based. We are not required by God to love, to take care of one another, or to act morally or justly. But we do want these things as they help life to continue and deepen our mind, enriching our experience and connecting us with others, which connects us with God. All our actions are of our own volition, and God does not guide us. Our aim is to be in harmony with God.
We have found that love is an evolutionary strategy that the human animal has come up with to ensure the health and continuation of the species. Love is a relatively modern construct, though the urge to take care of one another is ancient. We see love as the prime directive, and love includes accepting everyone with whatever beliefs help them to love. We patently reject war for any reason, but understand the innate need for self-defense. We reject capital punishment for any reason. We think that even the sickest minds can be changed. Recent science has shown that the brain has plasticity, and though things get hard-wired into us and we react without "thinking," our brains, and our minds can change. We think jails ought to be places, not merely of penance, as in the word, "penitentiary," and not merely of confinement, but as places of therapy and reconditioning. The goal of jail ought to be to find a place in society for those whose minds can be changed. There may be some whose minds cannot be changed enough, and for them, confinement should continue.
There is no hierarchy in Rationalism. Everyone is holy and everything is sacred. Everything contains the essence of God. Everyone who accepts Rationalism is a priest. The role of a priest is to actively love in every aspect of daily living and to deepen our experience of life and the experience of others by learning about our own minds and sharing with the minds of others. There are no rituals or rites. We see these as superstition, which is not necessary. We encourage the meeting of minds, and any time two or more minds come together to share, God is in that place. We respect the religious traditions of others, in so much as the core of all religions is love. But we see all other religions as containing elements of superstition. Rationalism rejects superstition.
We recognize and revere such personages as the Buddha, Jesus, Muhammad, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, and any others who have been geniuses in the field of love. We see them as being attuned to the meta-power, which they all interpreted in different ways. Islam says that a prophet is sent for his own particular din, and as such, they accepted that Jesus, Moses, Abraham and the other prophets were sent for different people and that Muhammad was sent for the Arabs. We revere teachers of any kind.
There are no sacraments per se, but we consider eating and sex to be sacred, as they have to do with life continuing. Eating and sex merely for pleasure is encouraged, though not always sacramental. Sex is not merely for procreation and can be enjoyed in any form between consenting adults. While our bodies may be ready for sex at puberty, we recognize that our minds aren't always ready, and therefore we adhere to the legal age of consent, even though some minds are not even ready well into their years.
We are Pro Choice, recognizing that not every sperm cell has to become a baby. A woman who is pregnant is a whole being, and can have any part of her being removed for any reason. An abortion is better than an unwanted child. There is only one soul involved - the soul of the woman. While she is pregnant, the baby is a part of her body.
There are no "shalts" and shall nots" in Rationalism. Love is the only practice. We have total free will. If we choose not to love, that is our business. But we recognize love as a good and supreme force for change and for fostering the furtherance of life.
This, for the most part, is my profession of faith. And an outline of how I intend to live. I'm not asking for converts, but if you share these sentiments, I'd love to know. Or, if you just want to start a conversation which will broaden each of our minds, I'm all ears. Life is empty without communication.
There are unexplainable things in life - things that science cannot answer. This leaves us feeling afraid, so we have developed various systems (religions) for helping us understand these things. The main unexplainable things are: Where did the universe come from? Why did life originate? What is consciousness? Is there an immortal soul? Is there a God? And if there is, what is our relationship to God? Just about everything else we can deal with, but these things require religion. Religion requires faith and faith is not rational. I've thought of calling my new religion "Rationalism," but the word is already used in philosophy. But it will do for now, as long as we capitalize it.
My new religion requires faith in only one thing: that there is a meta-power that is unknowable, incomprehensible and beyond the scope of human understanding. For simplicity's sake, we'll call it God, and refer to it as a "He," though God has no human attributes such as gender. Gleaning from the evidence of world history, God also does not have the human attributes of love, knowledge, jealousy, anger, want, need, or pride. God just is. We were not made in His image. We evolved from a microorganism. It is easier for most people to understand God if they humanize Him. But God cannot be explained or understood.
If it can be said that God wants anything, then by the evidence, we must say that God wants life to continue. It is programmed inside every living organism to continue. So if we want to do God's "will," then we must act in ways that are in accordance with life continuing. There is no evidence that God wants anything more than this. But we have no obligation to make life continue, and no obligation to complete our own natural lives.
So If we are to continue with our own individual lives and the life of the human species, we must find ways to make it tolerable at least, happy at best. Happiness is attainable. We all have different brains which were formed by different genetic expressions combined with different life experiences. Most people's brains don't work optimally and as a result, most people are not as happy as they could be. Even when our brains are working well, there's much room for improvement. In Rationalism, the mind, spirit, and soul are all the same and are inextricably linked to the body and only exist so long as the body is alive. We strive to make our brains work better and to keep our bodies healthy.
The soul is not immortal and there is no afterlife. There is no fear of eternal punishment and no eternal reward, so our actions are entirely life-based. We are not required by God to love, to take care of one another, or to act morally or justly. But we do want these things as they help life to continue and deepen our mind, enriching our experience and connecting us with others, which connects us with God. All our actions are of our own volition, and God does not guide us. Our aim is to be in harmony with God.
We have found that love is an evolutionary strategy that the human animal has come up with to ensure the health and continuation of the species. Love is a relatively modern construct, though the urge to take care of one another is ancient. We see love as the prime directive, and love includes accepting everyone with whatever beliefs help them to love. We patently reject war for any reason, but understand the innate need for self-defense. We reject capital punishment for any reason. We think that even the sickest minds can be changed. Recent science has shown that the brain has plasticity, and though things get hard-wired into us and we react without "thinking," our brains, and our minds can change. We think jails ought to be places, not merely of penance, as in the word, "penitentiary," and not merely of confinement, but as places of therapy and reconditioning. The goal of jail ought to be to find a place in society for those whose minds can be changed. There may be some whose minds cannot be changed enough, and for them, confinement should continue.
There is no hierarchy in Rationalism. Everyone is holy and everything is sacred. Everything contains the essence of God. Everyone who accepts Rationalism is a priest. The role of a priest is to actively love in every aspect of daily living and to deepen our experience of life and the experience of others by learning about our own minds and sharing with the minds of others. There are no rituals or rites. We see these as superstition, which is not necessary. We encourage the meeting of minds, and any time two or more minds come together to share, God is in that place. We respect the religious traditions of others, in so much as the core of all religions is love. But we see all other religions as containing elements of superstition. Rationalism rejects superstition.
We recognize and revere such personages as the Buddha, Jesus, Muhammad, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, and any others who have been geniuses in the field of love. We see them as being attuned to the meta-power, which they all interpreted in different ways. Islam says that a prophet is sent for his own particular din, and as such, they accepted that Jesus, Moses, Abraham and the other prophets were sent for different people and that Muhammad was sent for the Arabs. We revere teachers of any kind.
There are no sacraments per se, but we consider eating and sex to be sacred, as they have to do with life continuing. Eating and sex merely for pleasure is encouraged, though not always sacramental. Sex is not merely for procreation and can be enjoyed in any form between consenting adults. While our bodies may be ready for sex at puberty, we recognize that our minds aren't always ready, and therefore we adhere to the legal age of consent, even though some minds are not even ready well into their years.
We are Pro Choice, recognizing that not every sperm cell has to become a baby. A woman who is pregnant is a whole being, and can have any part of her being removed for any reason. An abortion is better than an unwanted child. There is only one soul involved - the soul of the woman. While she is pregnant, the baby is a part of her body.
There are no "shalts" and shall nots" in Rationalism. Love is the only practice. We have total free will. If we choose not to love, that is our business. But we recognize love as a good and supreme force for change and for fostering the furtherance of life.
This, for the most part, is my profession of faith. And an outline of how I intend to live. I'm not asking for converts, but if you share these sentiments, I'd love to know. Or, if you just want to start a conversation which will broaden each of our minds, I'm all ears. Life is empty without communication.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
The Black Death of 1348
Cheery topic, I know. But ever since examining that catastrophic year in a graduate history class years ago, I have realized how much the Great Mortality, as many contemporaries called it, changed the western world forever.
First the facts. It's impossible to say how many people died of Bubonic Plague in 1348 and the three successive years it spread over Europe, Asia, and the Middle East, but estimates are that from 75 to 200 million people died. If we take the high number and extrapolate for today's 7 billion population, that would be like 2.8 Billion people dying over the course of four years. That's almost nine times the population of the entire U.S. So the obvious result is that all of a sudden, there were a lot less people around, especially in big cities. The plague is thought to have originated in China and come by way of the Silk Road to India, Arabia, North Africa, and Europe via Mediterranean ships.
But there were so many other consequences besides a cull on the population. First of all, attitudes towards life changed. Before, life was seen as being just the preparation for eternal life in heaven. If we had to suffer a little, so what? As long as we would get our eternal reward, it was worth it. Only the highest born and the clergy could read, so minds were a little bit closed. These were the Dark Ages, after all. But no one needed to read - they were born on a lord's land and grew up working the land. There was no need to ever move, and in fact, in the feudal system, it was illegal. You were pretty much stuck where you were born.
But then, suddenly, there were people dying all around for no apparent reason. They had no real idea of how disease spread, so many chalked it up to God's anger. Many thought it was how the world would end. (Just think, if it had killed everyone in the known world, a new era of history would have begun with the primitives of the Americas and Australia. They might have one day evolved civilizations of their own which might have sent boats across the ocean to discover Europe). So people began to live for today. They were freer in their thought and actions.
With everyone dying, it seemed like God had abandoned them. So why be good? If you were just going to die anyway, what was the point of doing anything for the future? Why bother to work the land? There would be no more harvests, and no more planting. Many people adopted very casual attitudes towards life. They began to work less, and as they died, the land and the animals (the backbone of their economy) suffered too. The lords weren't about to work their own land, nor could they. So survivors, who sometimes felt like they were in God's good graces, started to hire themselves out, demanding much more money and getting it. The lords had no choice. Capitalism had begun.
And with shortages of people came shortages of supplies. So barter became more popular. If I had chickens and you had wheat, we could make some kind of a deal that the lord wouldn't be party to. Free enterprise sprang up. Before, the feudal manor produced everything one needed. After, you had to get things where you could. With barter came marketplaces, which eventually turned into towns and then cities. The lords became less important and less powerful. People started to take their fates into their own hands. People started to become individuals. Of course, there were individuals before, but common people never thought beyond the walls of their manor.
If it weren't for the Black Death, the feudal system might never have ended, or would at least have been seriously delayed. The industrial age might never have needed to happen. The Enlightenment might never have come. No Renaissance. No Age of Reason. Our growth as a civilization would have been seriously stunted. No Magna Carta, no Rights of Man, No American Revolution. A European History without the Black Death would have been a much more peaceful affair. Eventually the peasants would revolt, as in the Peasant Rebellion of 1381 (I think) but they would be driven back, there leaders hanged. And life would continue. When the population got big enough and the peasants outnumbered the aristocrats by a significant enough margin, then the tables might turn. In Russia, it took until 1917.
So the Black Death was a good thing in the long run. Or was it? That depends on if you like the way things turned out. But one thing for sure, things would be very different if it had never happened.
First the facts. It's impossible to say how many people died of Bubonic Plague in 1348 and the three successive years it spread over Europe, Asia, and the Middle East, but estimates are that from 75 to 200 million people died. If we take the high number and extrapolate for today's 7 billion population, that would be like 2.8 Billion people dying over the course of four years. That's almost nine times the population of the entire U.S. So the obvious result is that all of a sudden, there were a lot less people around, especially in big cities. The plague is thought to have originated in China and come by way of the Silk Road to India, Arabia, North Africa, and Europe via Mediterranean ships.
But there were so many other consequences besides a cull on the population. First of all, attitudes towards life changed. Before, life was seen as being just the preparation for eternal life in heaven. If we had to suffer a little, so what? As long as we would get our eternal reward, it was worth it. Only the highest born and the clergy could read, so minds were a little bit closed. These were the Dark Ages, after all. But no one needed to read - they were born on a lord's land and grew up working the land. There was no need to ever move, and in fact, in the feudal system, it was illegal. You were pretty much stuck where you were born.
But then, suddenly, there were people dying all around for no apparent reason. They had no real idea of how disease spread, so many chalked it up to God's anger. Many thought it was how the world would end. (Just think, if it had killed everyone in the known world, a new era of history would have begun with the primitives of the Americas and Australia. They might have one day evolved civilizations of their own which might have sent boats across the ocean to discover Europe). So people began to live for today. They were freer in their thought and actions.
With everyone dying, it seemed like God had abandoned them. So why be good? If you were just going to die anyway, what was the point of doing anything for the future? Why bother to work the land? There would be no more harvests, and no more planting. Many people adopted very casual attitudes towards life. They began to work less, and as they died, the land and the animals (the backbone of their economy) suffered too. The lords weren't about to work their own land, nor could they. So survivors, who sometimes felt like they were in God's good graces, started to hire themselves out, demanding much more money and getting it. The lords had no choice. Capitalism had begun.
And with shortages of people came shortages of supplies. So barter became more popular. If I had chickens and you had wheat, we could make some kind of a deal that the lord wouldn't be party to. Free enterprise sprang up. Before, the feudal manor produced everything one needed. After, you had to get things where you could. With barter came marketplaces, which eventually turned into towns and then cities. The lords became less important and less powerful. People started to take their fates into their own hands. People started to become individuals. Of course, there were individuals before, but common people never thought beyond the walls of their manor.
If it weren't for the Black Death, the feudal system might never have ended, or would at least have been seriously delayed. The industrial age might never have needed to happen. The Enlightenment might never have come. No Renaissance. No Age of Reason. Our growth as a civilization would have been seriously stunted. No Magna Carta, no Rights of Man, No American Revolution. A European History without the Black Death would have been a much more peaceful affair. Eventually the peasants would revolt, as in the Peasant Rebellion of 1381 (I think) but they would be driven back, there leaders hanged. And life would continue. When the population got big enough and the peasants outnumbered the aristocrats by a significant enough margin, then the tables might turn. In Russia, it took until 1917.
So the Black Death was a good thing in the long run. Or was it? That depends on if you like the way things turned out. But one thing for sure, things would be very different if it had never happened.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
How to be Happy
You didn't think I was going to be able to tell you in a few words, did you? I wish I could. The thing is, I'm happy. I mean really happy. Part of it is being rooted in the present. All worry and anxiety has to do with the passage of time. Sometimes I worry, but then I realize it is illusion.
If you knew your life was going to end in 15 minutes you would not be concerned with your student loans, or your evil boss, or that odd-colored mole, or war in Iraq, or what you were going to do this weekend, or your impending divorce, or anything. You would be present for perhaps the first time in your life. At first you may think of all the things that you've left undone, the people you neglected to say, "I love you" to, the places you wanted to see, the opportunities you passed up. But then that would all go away, and you would be present. Just you. Just the collection of experiences that is your mind. Time would stop. And in that moment, you would realize that things are perfect. We are a complex organism, here to pass on DNA, like every other organism. But because our brains have evolved to include a prefrontal cortex (which is present in no other animal), we can look at our own minds, at what makes us happy, and at time.
Happiness is about overcoming the illusion of time. We don't think about time when having an orgasm. We don't think about it when we are euphoric with drugs or alcohol. If you can overcome the illusion of time, it's like being on Ecstasy and having an orgasm. It's a pretty incredible feeling. Meditation can get you there. But how can we go through our lives, which seem to occur in a framework of time, and not be subject to time? We tend to think of all the things that make us unhappy, afraid, anxious, ashamed. Our brains have developed responses to these feelings which make our bodies feel bad. But right now, as you read these words, there is only one moment - the Now. You exist in it eternally. And you might say, "That's all well and good as I read these words, but how am I to be happy while being eaten by a tiger? Or while someone is abusing me? Or while the Republicans are in office? Or when I'm overdrawn at the bank and late with rent? Or all the other negative situations we can come up with or have experienced. While you are experiencing pain, no one says you have to enjoy it. But if you can be fully aware of the moment you are in, then even the ability to experience pain is miraculous. And if your mind doesn't spin off into the fear that is associated with pain, then the pain is of little consequence. I experienced severe back pain from a bulged disc before my bipolar disorder was dealt with and it made me severely depressed. Then, years later, I experienced even worse back pain which debilitated me to the point of not even being able to hold myself upright. But at no time was my happiness compromised. The pain happened to my body and not my mind.
Right now, as I type, I'm experiencing pain in my left wrist. It has been there for about a week. But at no time has it affected my happiness, because there is no fear of future pain or complications. It is just a feeling that tells me something is physically wrong with my body. It has nothing to do with my emotional self. It exists in the physical world, but not in my mind. It does not exist in the Now.
If you know me, you know that I was not always happy. I grew up confused and feeling emotionally neglected. I developed bipolar disorder, which was not overcome until I was about 40. Then I got on meds which allowed my brain to think clearly for the first time. All that I'd read about the mind, about life, about my disease all of a sudden made sense. I feel like I was born at 40. It's not like my medicine made me happy. It's not like my life circumstances changed. It's that my brain was suddenly able to do what brains are supposed to do - make sense of reality. And fully experience the present.
Try right now to experience the present. Let go of everything you know. Let go of everything you plan. You have no personality, no traits, characteristics, or habits. You have no job, no skills or talents, no family or friends. Accept whatever you feel right now physically - the weight of your own body, the millions of things that are stimulating your eyes (or close them), the sounds around you, the smell of the air. This is what you are. Allow your mind to go blank. If a thought occurs, let it pass. People have been meditating on their own breath for thousands of years. Let you breath be all that exists. Just be. Once you learn to do this, you can do it anywhere. Life can be one great meditation.
I want you to be happy. I don't know why. It feels like a sacred duty to share happiness. Sharing happiness feels like love. Sharing love is part of our evolutionary strategy to continue as a species.
You may have only fifteen minutes to live. Why not be happy now?
If you knew your life was going to end in 15 minutes you would not be concerned with your student loans, or your evil boss, or that odd-colored mole, or war in Iraq, or what you were going to do this weekend, or your impending divorce, or anything. You would be present for perhaps the first time in your life. At first you may think of all the things that you've left undone, the people you neglected to say, "I love you" to, the places you wanted to see, the opportunities you passed up. But then that would all go away, and you would be present. Just you. Just the collection of experiences that is your mind. Time would stop. And in that moment, you would realize that things are perfect. We are a complex organism, here to pass on DNA, like every other organism. But because our brains have evolved to include a prefrontal cortex (which is present in no other animal), we can look at our own minds, at what makes us happy, and at time.
Happiness is about overcoming the illusion of time. We don't think about time when having an orgasm. We don't think about it when we are euphoric with drugs or alcohol. If you can overcome the illusion of time, it's like being on Ecstasy and having an orgasm. It's a pretty incredible feeling. Meditation can get you there. But how can we go through our lives, which seem to occur in a framework of time, and not be subject to time? We tend to think of all the things that make us unhappy, afraid, anxious, ashamed. Our brains have developed responses to these feelings which make our bodies feel bad. But right now, as you read these words, there is only one moment - the Now. You exist in it eternally. And you might say, "That's all well and good as I read these words, but how am I to be happy while being eaten by a tiger? Or while someone is abusing me? Or while the Republicans are in office? Or when I'm overdrawn at the bank and late with rent? Or all the other negative situations we can come up with or have experienced. While you are experiencing pain, no one says you have to enjoy it. But if you can be fully aware of the moment you are in, then even the ability to experience pain is miraculous. And if your mind doesn't spin off into the fear that is associated with pain, then the pain is of little consequence. I experienced severe back pain from a bulged disc before my bipolar disorder was dealt with and it made me severely depressed. Then, years later, I experienced even worse back pain which debilitated me to the point of not even being able to hold myself upright. But at no time was my happiness compromised. The pain happened to my body and not my mind.
Right now, as I type, I'm experiencing pain in my left wrist. It has been there for about a week. But at no time has it affected my happiness, because there is no fear of future pain or complications. It is just a feeling that tells me something is physically wrong with my body. It has nothing to do with my emotional self. It exists in the physical world, but not in my mind. It does not exist in the Now.
If you know me, you know that I was not always happy. I grew up confused and feeling emotionally neglected. I developed bipolar disorder, which was not overcome until I was about 40. Then I got on meds which allowed my brain to think clearly for the first time. All that I'd read about the mind, about life, about my disease all of a sudden made sense. I feel like I was born at 40. It's not like my medicine made me happy. It's not like my life circumstances changed. It's that my brain was suddenly able to do what brains are supposed to do - make sense of reality. And fully experience the present.
Try right now to experience the present. Let go of everything you know. Let go of everything you plan. You have no personality, no traits, characteristics, or habits. You have no job, no skills or talents, no family or friends. Accept whatever you feel right now physically - the weight of your own body, the millions of things that are stimulating your eyes (or close them), the sounds around you, the smell of the air. This is what you are. Allow your mind to go blank. If a thought occurs, let it pass. People have been meditating on their own breath for thousands of years. Let you breath be all that exists. Just be. Once you learn to do this, you can do it anywhere. Life can be one great meditation.
I want you to be happy. I don't know why. It feels like a sacred duty to share happiness. Sharing happiness feels like love. Sharing love is part of our evolutionary strategy to continue as a species.
You may have only fifteen minutes to live. Why not be happy now?
Sunday, November 20, 2011
I Was Here
The above portrait is of a lovely young woman named Gavia. She tells me her name is Latin for “loon.” Her father is an artist who specializes in birds. I love the way artists think. She would have been just as lovely being named Jessica or Cindy, but she would not have been the same person. Growing up with a name like Gavia must be interesting. No one would take your name for granted, and you would probably be asked about it constantly. Being able to connect to your father in this way probably makes you think differently about your own identity. You are certain to be one of a kind wherever you go. You are connected to art in a way that a Tom or a Robert never will be. A father who would name his daughter so would be sure to be a loving father. The connection probably started before she was even born. Lucky Gavia.
But, without a name, what does the portrait say about who she is? To be honest, I don’t know who she is, so all I had to go by was her physiognomy and her energy and the brief bit of conversation that we shared. Portraits of old used to include clues as to the wealth, status and temperament of the person portrayed. Portraits were meant to flatter the subject. This portrait lends very little in that regard. But the color I chose for the background reflects the emotion I felt in looking at Gavia, and that makes this portrait feel successful. She was posed against a white wall, and initially the background was a neutral grayish tone. But it did not reflect her energy. As I thought about the incomplete portrait for several weeks without working on it, I thought about the color that would portray her energy against the muted alizarin of the futon on which she sat and which would tie in the blue of her shirt and the ochre pillow.
Colors are like musical chords. A major chord is generally perceived as being of a positive emotion, happiness, joy. A minor chord can denote sadness, anger, frustration, fear or even shame. But then there are so many permutations of chords which subtly change the emotion and make it more complex. A minor seventh chord may imply a more pensive sadness, maybe guilt. A minor ninth could increase the tension of the negativity. A minor seventh with a flat five could imply decreased stability in dealing with the negative emotion. A major seventh lends an ease and comfort, even dreamy elation to a major chord.
A spectrum color can be like a major chord. As we make the color more complex, by adding other pigments, increasing or decreasing its intensity, we alter the emotion that goes with it. I thought about the color of this background for a long time before executing it. I knew that it was a major chord, but I had to think about the complexities. The major chord was yellow, but not a pure, happy yellow. It had to be more thoughtful. So yellow ochre became the base – an earthy yellow that has had some experience in the world and has tired a little from the bright yellow it started out as. And then the yellow was tinged with viridian. This deep green with blue overtones was about the heavy thoughts that come with being a creative person. But those thoughts do not always bubble to the surface – they are an undercurrent, so they don’t have a lot of sway in Gavia’s overall energy. The final mix was titanium white, which lightened the whole thing to happy, intelligent and contented place. This is the energy that Gavia gave off. Some people read auras. I guess painting portraits is similar.
So, in painting the energy of this young woman, I was saying two things. First, at some point in the infinite space and time of the universe, this person existed. That’s what every portrait says. But second, it says that I existed, and that I felt emotions that I could translate into color. If someone were to see this portrait in a thousand years, they may not know who painted it, but they’ll know that at one time, a painter felt as they do, saw as they do, lived as they do. All the painters of the past have left evidence of their inner selves in the complex chords and subtle notes of painting. The nuances of emotion. When I look at a Holbein, I know Henry VIII. When I see a Rembrandt self-portrait, I see inside the man. Picasso is still alive in his paintings. The painters of the caves at Lascaux or Alta Mira have lived on through the ages. In our way, we are all trying to say the same thing – I was here.
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