How to be Happy

You didn't think I was going to be able to tell you in a few words, did you? I wish I could. The thing is, I'm happy. I mean really happy. Part of it is being rooted in the present. All worry and anxiety has to do with the passage of time. Sometimes I worry, but then I realize it is illusion.

If you knew your life was going to end in 15 minutes you would not be concerned with your student loans, or your evil boss, or that odd-colored mole, or war in Iraq, or what you were going to do this weekend, or your impending divorce, or anything. You would be present for perhaps the first time in your life. At first you may think of all the things that you've left undone, the people you neglected to say, "I love you" to, the places you wanted to see, the opportunities you passed up. But then that would all go away, and you would be present. Just you. Just the collection of experiences that is your mind. Time would stop. And in that moment, you would realize that things are perfect. We are a complex organism, here to pass on DNA, like every other organism. But because our brains have evolved to include a prefrontal cortex (which is present in no other animal), we can look at our own minds, at what makes us happy, and at time.

Happiness is about overcoming the illusion of time. We don't think about time when having an orgasm. We don't think about it when we are euphoric with drugs or alcohol. If you can overcome the illusion of time, it's like being on Ecstasy and having an orgasm. It's a pretty incredible feeling. Meditation can get you there. But how can we go through our lives, which seem to occur in a framework of time, and not be subject to time? We tend to think of all the things that make us unhappy, afraid, anxious, ashamed. Our brains have developed responses to these feelings which make our bodies feel bad. But right now, as you read these words, there is only one moment - the Now. You exist in it eternally. And you might say, "That's all well and good as I read these words, but how am I to be happy while being eaten by a tiger? Or while someone is abusing me? Or while the Republicans are in office? Or when I'm overdrawn at the bank and late with rent? Or all the other negative situations we can come up with or have experienced. While you are experiencing pain, no one says you have to enjoy it. But if you can be fully aware of the moment you are in, then even the ability to experience pain is miraculous. And if your mind doesn't spin off into the fear that is associated with pain, then the pain is of little consequence. I experienced severe back pain from a bulged disc before my bipolar disorder was dealt with and it made me severely depressed. Then, years later, I experienced even worse back pain which debilitated me to the point of not even being able to hold myself upright. But at no time was my happiness compromised. The pain happened to my body and not my mind.

Right now, as I type, I'm experiencing pain in my left wrist. It has been there for about a week. But at no time has it affected my happiness, because there is no fear of future pain or complications. It is just a feeling that tells me something is physically wrong with my body. It has nothing to do with my emotional self. It exists in the physical world, but not in my mind. It does not exist in the Now.

If you know me, you know that I was not always happy. I grew up confused and feeling emotionally neglected. I developed bipolar disorder, which was not overcome until I was about 40. Then I got on meds which allowed my brain to think clearly for the first time. All that I'd read about the mind, about life, about my disease all of a sudden made sense. I feel like I was born at 40. It's not like my medicine made me happy. It's not like my life circumstances changed. It's that my brain was suddenly able to do what brains are supposed to do - make sense of reality. And fully experience the present.

Try right now to experience the present. Let go of everything you know. Let go of everything you plan. You have no personality, no traits, characteristics, or habits. You have no job, no skills or talents, no family or friends. Accept whatever you feel right now physically - the weight of your own body, the millions of things that are stimulating your eyes (or close them), the sounds around you, the smell of the air. This is what you are. Allow your mind to go blank. If a thought occurs, let it pass. People have been meditating on their own breath for thousands of years. Let you breath be all that exists. Just be. Once you learn to do this, you can do it anywhere. Life can be one great meditation.

I want you to be happy. I don't know why. It feels like a sacred duty to share happiness. Sharing happiness feels like love. Sharing love is part of our evolutionary strategy to continue as a species.

You may have only fifteen minutes to live. Why not be happy now?